Caught between outer rims of wakefulness and drowsy dreams, I see your furrowed brow.
I see you standing calmly in front of our living room window, billowing curtains surround you as a warm summer breeze blows in.
The sun creates a sparkling outline around your aged body, accentuating your sloping shoulders and pink, uneven ears.
Your worn work shirt, splattered with dried mud and black suspenders hold your frail frame.
The dust from your favorite leather work boots rises in the air, sparkling in the evening sun.
I can smell the musty earth that has settled into every crevice.
Deep wrinkles surround your black, brown eyes.
Wispy hairs brush against your cheek bones I used to hold in my young hands.
I remember the itchy remnants of your curly beard scraping across my fingers.
My eyelids are strained and I reach to rub the tired out of them, eyelashes fall to my cheeks and are picked up by the uneven breeze.
I open my mouth to speak but words flow like ancient homes crumble.
They fall out like building blocks barely above a whisper.
I feel a sense of panic fill my body, shaking my bones from head to toe.
In a few moments you will disappear into the cracks between our hardwood floors or the lights inside our gleaming chandelier.
You will dissolve back into the comforts of our home and into the empty pits of our hearts.
The sun has started to sink and you become a blur, a shadowy figure of black and grey.
Your face becomes a blank palate and I can no longer trace the smile lines along your mouth. You begin to fade back into the glassy background and the white cotton curtains begin to swallow you.
Your soul escaped your shell many years ago and I have been searching for it ever since.
I’ve chased every yellow, gold sunset and patiently waited for every frigid sunrise. I’ve looked through every box of photos, encasing sweet memories of Christmas cheer and snowy Easters.
I looked in the deepest, greasiest corners of Key’s Cafe and inside the musty smell of guitar cases. I looked through the many pages and spaces between old books
and made sure you weren’t trapped within the untuned capsules of each smooth piano key.
Standing, swaying in the last moments of pink, orange sunshine.
After chasing so many sunsets I’ve finally found you and now you’re fading once more.
The clock begins to sound, sending an echo of chirps throughout our house.
They fill my ears full, the vibrations passing through each membrane, making them shudder and scream.
You were always too good for this place anyway.
Now you are everywhere and nowhere all at once.
I step forward quietly, careful not to wake myself from the in-between, desperate to get one last glimpse.
His arms reach out like the aged limbs of an ancient oak and the dark, immense sky takes him in.
Dusty footprints remain on the cold floor where he stood.
