Being overweight is hard for young adults because we are constantly held to the societal standards of beauty. According to society, being overweight means that you can’t wear the same clothes and look the same way as the people we see on billboards, it means that you are fat and ugly and it means that you should do everything in your power to change the numbers you see on the scale.
For a long time that’s what I thought too. I have been overweight for as long as I can remember and I started to accept society’s definition of what overweight people are. I looked in the mirror and saw a “fat, ugly slob” and I did everything possible to cover my fat rolls such as wearing baggy clothes.
When I was in middle school people used to make fun of me when I would eat lunch and when I would come home the torment only escalated. My siblings would constantly make fat jokes until I would hide in a corner to cry and my parents would yell at them. Middle school was hard enough but adding my family to my long list of bullies made me feel like a complete outcast.
“Kids are cruel in middle school", were the harsh words my guidance counselors would say to me when I would cry to them complaining that I was being made fun of.
Although I started losing weight in high school and people started liking me, it didn’t change how I felt about myself. I still saw myself as fat and ugly. I kept obsessing over the numbers on the scale like losing weight was some kind of competition and I needed to be as thin as possible in order to be happy and beautiful. The obsession kept growing until I eventually just got tired of pleasing others.
Coming to college has completely changed my perspective on weight and pleasing others. The Freshman 15 turned into the Freshman 40 and I am now the fattest I have ever been in my entire life. The only thing that I am concerned with is my health and not the numbers on a scale. So if you see me hit the gym, it’s not because I want to look good for you because I already look good, it’s because I want to be to walk two flights of stairs without wanting to pass out.
Yes, I am fat but I am not ugly or lazy. Yes, I am fat but I love myself and I am comfortable in my own skin. If I want to wear a crop top, I will wear a crop top. If I want to eat a whole box of cookies, I will.
If you are an overweight girl reading this I just want you to know that you are beautiful and you shouldn’t have to change yourself to please the people around you. Your beauty is not the numbers on a weight scale, your beauty is within you. You may be fat, honey, but you still slay and I hope you look in the mirror and see the gorgeous woman that you are.
