Forever. It’s the word most of us use every day without actually realizing the depth of its meaning. What is forever? In a marriage, forever means, “till death do us part”. As a child, it was sitting in the car for 20 minutes thinking you would die if you had to sit there for five more. In a best friend relationship, forever means a friend until the very end. BFF means best friends forever, everyone knows that, even my Nana. Everyone has the group of “BFF’s,” the ones you can call when you’re laying on your couch binge watching Friends on Netflix alone waiting on the delivery you ordered over an hour ago, to come join you in your lazy couch slumber. Our BFF’s are usually the ones everyone sees on our Snapchat stories out with us on Saturday nights when we are drinking mojitos and making duck faces for the camera. In my group of BFF’s, there was one girl in particular who seemed more like a sister than anything to me. This was the girl out of my group of BFF’s who I considered my “forever friend” because knowing not all friendships would last, this one would.
I should include that friendship to me is about surrounding yourself with people who mutually enjoy the same things, build each other up, and all are on the path to success in life; emphasis on the positivity friendships should provide to your life.
Best Friends Forever is almost an intimidating term to be considered. Adding the word ‘forever’ to the best friend title is an honor and also a commitment. People throw around the term BFF very loosely, but to me, if I consider you a best friend forever, I plan on you being in my life forever, literally.
Because forever has a very powerful meaning to me, I work really hard to maintain my relationships with those people I consider my closest friends. To say every friendship I have is perfect would make my nose grow. I have a lot of emotions and opinions, as does every young girl, and sometimes it can cause my best friends and me to butt heads. In order to prevent a friendship break up after the first argument you have to be willing to compromise.
That being said, a farewell to my forever friend, is at a point in my life where I realized that my “rock” of a best friend was really a pebble. Yes, I work very hard to maintain great relationships, but I also want to make sure I am being the very best friend I can be. I have found out that you can be the greatest best friend you can be to someone, yet they still feel somewhat disappointed in what you have brought to the [friendship] table. How exactly do you realize you are at that point with a friend until the worst has happened and you become instant enemies? Because of my “forever friend” status with this girl, I held on to every ounce of what was left in our dwindling friendship, even when I knew it was toxic for me and for her. Letting go is the hardest thing, but it is relieving and much healthier for your life.
For those of you finding out your “rock” is actually a pebble, it is a very difficult time because when did you ever expect you would have that much disappointment in someone you were so close to? Some questions you have to ask yourself: Is this person lifting me up or bringing me down? Does this person provide positivity or negativity to my life? Finally, the hardest question being “is this worth it anymore”? If you have been fighting this never-ending friendship battle with someone and know in your heart that answer to “is it worth it?” is no, you need to let go. As someone who held on until it was impossible to for a second longer, letting go is hard. How do you realize that you are no longer at the point of friendship where you cannot handle a second without each other, but instead cannot handle a second with each other without some sort of argument? Open your eyes. If you have gotten to the point where everything is walking on eggshells to not piss her off or offend her when you say you prefer Chandler to Joey, be able to be strong enough to walk away.
Do not feel trapped by the word ‘forever.’ What I did to get out of the death trap of a friendship I was in was developing better, more positive friendships with new people in my life. Surrounding myself with friends who were only there for a positive influence in my life helped me realize the toxic friendship I was in. Friendships are the sole purpose of adding positivity to your life, if they are not, let it go.
