If Your Friends And Family Hate Your Partner, They Probably Have A Good Reason To

If Your Friends And Family Hate Your Partner, They Probably Have A Good Reason To

He often talks about her as if she's a sexual object, and to make matters worse, jokes about making decisions for her regarding her body.

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I've been hearing a lot of talk about Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande. Hearing of their engagement was a shock — to me and most of the world. They'd only been dating for a month before announcing their engagement; and to make matters worse, they entered into a partnership almost immediately after Ariana's split with Mac Miller.

Without knowing anything about the two celebrities, their relationship is already looking problematic.

There are three dating sins that should never be committed, two of which Grande has already done. These dating habits are just plain bad, and they almost end in heartbreak.

I don't claim to be a relationship guru, nor do I get a thrill out of dragging celebrity unions, but analyzing celebrity relationships allows us to make connections in our own personal relationships. People can learn a lot by studying Davidson and Grande's relationship, and not necessarily about its rocky start. Despite the three dating sins listed above, the most problematic aspect of the union so far is how it is being perceived by those who care a great deal about her... her fans.

Fans have a weird relationship with their idols (and vice versa). It's a relationship filled with love and (sometimes a bit obsessive) adoration, despite the two parties not knowing each other personally. Sometimes, these fans know more about celebrities than the famous people know about themselves — and sometimes, they can spot a sinking ship before a celebrity has even realized that it left the harbor.

Since their engagement announcement, Arianators have been quite vocal about their abhorrence of Davidson.

Sure, we can write off their complaints as them still being bitter about the Grande/Miller split, but if that is the case, why didn't people bash Mac Miller after Ariana split with Big Sean? Sure, we can write off Pete's comments as a reflection of his comedic nature and style of "dark humor," but I have to admit that a lot of the things he says are problematic. He often talks about her as if she's a sexual object, and to make matters worse, jokes about making decisions for her regarding her body (who thinks its funny to switch someone's birth control pills?). What makes this situation even more peculiar is that Ariana Grande is a fervent feminist. She's always been vocal about women's rights and women's issues. So why hasn't she checked her fiance about his toxic behavior?

Perhaps love really is blind.

Grande's ignorance of Pete's problematic actions echoes a larger problem in dating. How we are so reluctant to actually listen when those who care about our well-being say something negative about our partners? Perhaps if we were more reticent, we would save ourselves from heartache.

Not only that, but Davidson and Grande's relationship might echo an even large problem when it comes to dating: abuse.

From the outside looking in, I am in no way, shape, or form qualified to suggest that Pete Davidson is an abusive partner, but there are thousands of men and women in the world who are. Their lack of respect for their partners and controlling behavior can cause significant emotional and physical trauma. And since October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it's important that we're mindful of the dating choices we're making, and the choices that our loved ones are making. We need to have more open discussions about these topics, because abuse comes in many shapes and forms, and it's important that we're able to spot them early on.

I like Ariana Grande. And I think Pete Davidson is a pretty funny guy (when he's not being problematic). But I have to admit that their relationship gives off warning bells. Ladies and gentlemen, if everyone around you is saying your partner is trash, they probably are.

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To The Girl Who's Still Crying Over the Guy She Never Dated

We've all been there, you never really dated but you might as well have...
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We’ve all been there. Every single one of us. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have been where you are; so let me just say, you’re not alone. No matter if your friends are the best people in the world, I’m sure they’ve had enough of your sadness over a boy who you were never really with. But that’s what’s scary, it feels like you were together. No matter the amount of time, maybe a month, maybe a year, no matter what, you had enough time to gain feelings for another person and be vulnerable; and that in itself is a tough pill to swallow. Now, the one person you thought would never hurt you, did just what they promised they wouldn’t do, and now you’re left putting the pieces of your life back together.

Enough of the sappy stuff. Let me tell you that life goes on. Whether over a boy, or a grade, or whatever it is, I have always told my friends, “You’re going to make it to tomorrow.” And although it seems like the hardest feat you’ve ever endured, you are going to make it to tomorrow. And then, you’re going to make it to the next day. So it may seem that the day you end things with the boy you thought you were going to be with, is the worst day in the world, you are going to make it to tomorrow.

But even though you are going to make it to tomorrow, that doesn’t mean the situation doesn’t suck. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t cry. It doesn’t mean that you won’t be afraid or feel weird going to the bar you once loved, or the restaurant you guys would go to a lot, or the most common place to study on campus, in fear of seeing him. All of those feelings of uncertainty are totally normal, and in time, it will fade.

My friend once told me, this too shall pass.

So while you’re sad, or crying, or complaining about this boy, your friends might be telling you, “Get over it, you were never really together.” But I promise, it may take a while (seemingly forever), and as hard as it may be to believe right now, you will make it to tomorrow, and this too shall pass. Remember that.

With love from,

The girl who knows what it's like to have to get over the boy she never dated

Cover Image Credit: onehdwallpaper

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A Well-Deserved And Long Overdue Thank You To My Boyfriend

I know it's cliché, but he deserves it.

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Thank you for choosing me and loving me unconditionally every day. I do not deserve the love that you radiate, but I am beyond thankful for it. Thank you for showing me kindness in every action and for listening to every pointless story I have. Thank you for being the person I can go to 24/7 with any piece of news. Thank you for being the only person who can make me laugh when I am not in the mood at all. Thank you for picking up all of my pieces and wiping all of my tears. Thank you for making sure I always feel loved.

Thank you for believing in pinky promises just as much as I do and for making sure you never break them. Thank you for always reassuring me even though it gets annoying. Thank you for believing in me and pushing me out of my comfort zone. Thank you for knowing when I need a confidence boost, when I need a push, or when I just need a shoulder to cry on. Thank you for taking the time to learn everything about me.

Thank you for never giving up on me no matter how grumpy I get or how hard our week has been. Thank you for never going to sleep mad and always saying "I love you" before we leave. Thank you for the tight squeezes and play fights. Thank you for the deep belly laughs and jam sessions in the car. Thank you for the late-night phone calls when I can't sleep and for doing everything you can to make me better when I'm sick. Thank you for loving me no matter what and no matter when. Thank you for all of the memories. Thank you for holding on tight and never letting go.

Thank you for being everything I could ever want and for showing me what love really is.

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