Many friends I know today had some sort of long-term relationship in high school, but didn’t transition to college. It’s a lot of growing as well as knowing what you want with that person and if you actually see a future with them before making such an important decision, like college, based on your relationship. Thinking you found the love of your life at 16 is a blessing and a curse, and the aftermath of it all sometimes feels as if you will never heal.
I met him through mutual friends at the beginning of junior year at a Toby Keith concert. He was adorable, and I didn’t think anything of it, which was dangerous because those always turn into something more than you think at the time. When you’re not looking, love sneaks up and finds you when you're least expecting it. I didn’t expect to find the love of my life that night, let alone talk to that adorable boy again. But he texted me the next day and didn’t stop. Five days later he asked me to be his girlfriend. Looking back now we were insane and didn’t even know each other a week, but in that moment, I knew this boy was about to make the biggest impact on my life.
We went through rough patches like every couple does, but it felt so different. Anything we went through we ended up laughing off and loving each other even more — if that was even possible. It felt like nothing I had experienced before. I had one other long-term relationship the year before but it didn’t even compare to what I had with this boy. We were together all through our upper-class years and were inseparable. Our lives started to intertwine with family, friends and even working at the same place. This was very dangerous and is something I look back on and don’t regret, but would do differently.
As a person, you should be able to have an independent side to you, completely separate from everyone. That part of me I held close faded over the years with him and next thing I knew we were graduating and both attending Georgia Southern. We both wanted this, a year and a half in and both 18 now, we thought it was all worth it and was diving in head first to a whole new level of our relationship.
I was proud of the couple we grew into and I will always remember how that 16-year-old looked at me, like I was the only girl on this planet, like I was the most beautiful creature that ever graced his eyes. I felt the same way until the very end. Until I started to feel suffocated from no space. It drove me crazy and into someone I didn’t recognize.
Spring of last year and about to be our two-and-a-half-year anniversary, we were fighting more about little things and it felt off. I still felt the love and was crazy about him, but the suffocation of always being together was excruciating sometimes, especially when I just wanted to have time to myself and he was always there. Ending it was the hardest thing I did, and so much drastically changed in my life that it became more painful too handle. It affected everyone around us especially my roommates who were close with him, too. I made terrible mistakes in the process that drove him further away. He started to see what I saw for months and we drifted. For a while after, I begged for it back and I wanted my life with him again, but it wasn’t right — it wasn’t what we needed anymore. He realized this and refused, knowing by that point we needed to grow separately. It was hard to accept but eventually I had to, having the choice to stay miserable or to start enjoying life again.
When you fall in love so young, you’ll always remember that person who changed your life and for the better. He was always there for me and never left when I was upset. At the time, I found it so aggravating but I now realize and appreciate how much he cared about me. Without him, I wouldn't have the life and best friends I have today. I wouldn't be the person I am without the experiences I had in this relationship and that part of me is very important. I will always be grateful for both the good and the bad.
We still see each other all the time having the same friend groups and wanting to keep contact. It’s hard sometimes but it’s better than cutting someone who was also your best friend out of your life. I often don’t recognize who I fell in love with, noticing just how much college changes someone. But every so often, a quick flash of who I remember appears on his face and I'm reminded how crazy I was about the now 20 year old in front of me, who helped me find out just how much someone could love me and what I deserve. Our relationship was the true definition of love in my eyes, and I hope one day another will look at me the same way that adorable 16 year old boy did.
