Falling in love with someone in your friend group seems like something that only happens in Rom-coms. I mean it doesn’t sound very realistic that romantic love could blossom out of something that should be so unromantic… and then it happens. You look across the room and suddenly they are not your obnoxious goofy friend. They are somehow more. Suddenly going over to hang out starts this fluttering in your stomach that you can’t ignore no matter how hard you try. This was the situation of a friend of mine. Fortunately or unfortunately this friend is a very compulsive and a hopeless romantic so they went for it. They spilled the beans and, in return, expected the Rom-com. They wanted it all: a gorgeous friend who would willingly hold their hand and possibly exchange their awkward staring. But sadly life is not always full of comic relief and there is a huge risk when expressing such emotion to a friend. As much as we would like to hope that our friendships are rock solid, expressing romantic love changes things.
So is it worth it? Putting your heart on the table and hoping that you wont walk away with neither a lover nor a friend? So then there are two options: To tell, or not to tell. The nerd in me would advise a pro con list but when everything is said, or not said, what good can a pro and con list do?
When my friend was wondering what to do I asked them one simple question: If you knew nothing could come of it, would you still tell them? To my surprise my friend responded yes. I asked them why and they said:
“I look at the people who know her and don’t know her and I just think how could they walk past this person everyday and not really see them. How could people walk past them and not realize they just walked past the real deal. And then I look at her and realize that she doesn’t know either. She looks in the mirror and doesn’t how special they are. And she deserves to know. She deserves to know she is wanted.”
So I guess my advice is tell them. I bet you weren’t expecting that strong of an opinion but here it is. Risk it all. Shout it from the mountaintops. Make the big gesture. The only way to spread love is to be loving. Better to let them know then spend a lifetime wondering what could have been. And when it is over and your words are spilled like a glass of milk walk away. Expect nothing else but the hope that you have brightened someone’s day.