There's No Handbook On How To Fall In Love In College

There's No Handbook On How To Fall In Love In College

So do it how it fits you best.

I'm at that point in my life where I basically have three different sets of friends. My graduating class is basically split into three parts. There's the half that has a job, a kid or two, and married. Then there's the half that has no interest in a relationship, drinks every night of the week, and constantly complains about being broke and their excessive amount of homework. And then there is the very small portion that falls in between the two. Those maybe still in college, or just graduating, maybe in a relationship but not quite to the point of marriage, and those working an adult job, but maybe not fully transitioned into everything that means being an adult.

Most people seem to handle this phase with grace. I, however, am having a few struggles. You see, I fall in that category of those few in between. I am still in college and will be for six more years (vet school..), but I live with my boyfriend whom I have talked marriage with. I sometimes feel as if I should hold off on marriage, I mean what's the rush? I don't plan on having kids until I am done with school, so why rush to marry? But then again, I have the part of me that wishes the job, marriage, and kids part of life could come a little quicker.

I mean, how am I supposed to do both? I have to live away from my boyfriend during the school year, except on breaks, because I go to school in another city, an hour away. So if we get married right now, how is that supposed to work? Is it okay to be married and live apart? Or should we just wait?

It's an awkward phase for sure, being in between what I feel like is being a true adult, and still being a college kid.

I know I can't be the only one to feel this way.

There's just no handbook on how to do these things. I mean no one seems to wait and do things the old fashioned way, finish school, get married, get a job, have kids. So since the standard is changing, it's confusing to me.

I guess we just take it as we take everything now and interpret it the way it fits best. Go to college or get a job, fall in love and get married on your own timeline, if a kid pops in the picture, handle it the best way possible.

Love is complicated, so this isn't supposed to be easy. That's the true test of knowing if that relationship is gonna work, because you have to deal with life in between.

So, whatever phase you're at in your young adult life, do things how they fit you best and don't worry about the rest.

Cover Image Credit: vvampireeffreakk / Flickr

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If You Really Want To Get To Know Someone, Ask These 100 Questions

Everyone has a story that you know nothing about and it's hard to even know where to begin, so here's 100 questions to really open a conversation as to who someone is on their deepest levels.

If you truly want to get to know someone, you must delve much deeper than "favorites" and small talk.

Everyone has a story and if you're committed, that's something you should get to know and understand.

So, when in doubt, here's 100 questions to ask to truly begin to know who someone is on their deepest levels.

  1. What makes you happy?
  2. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
  3. What are your top 3 goals in life? How do you plan to achieve them?
  4. If you had $10,000.00, what would you do with it?
  5. What is your deepest fear?
  6. What is your darkest secret?
  7. What is your all time favorite song?
  8. What is the motto you live by?
  9. Who is your biggest role model?
  10. If you could meet any deceased person for lunch, who would you meet and why?
  11. Who’s the first person you call when something incredible happens? When something awful happens?
  12. What is the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
  13. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
  14. Describe your perfect date.
  15. Do you prefer to fly or drive? Why?
  16. What’s your all-time favorite memory?
  17. Who’s had the biggest influence on you during your lifetime?
  18. Are you religious? Do you believe in any higher power?
  19. What gets you out of bed in the morning? What makes you happy to jump out of bed in the morning?
  20. Are you a morning person or a nighttime person?
  21. Would you ever compete on a reality show? Which show?
  22. What is grounds for ending a date immediately?
  23. Would you ever take back someone who’s cheated?
  24. Have you ever/would you ever ride a motorcycle?
  25. What’s something materialistic you could never live without?
  26. Do you shop at thrift stores?
  27. What do you want to be remembered for?
  28. What’s your favorite quote?
  29. What’s the most awkward situation you’ve ever been in?
  30. What is your spirit animal?
  31. What is your most unusual talent?
  32. What accomplishment are you most proud of?
  33. Do you volunteer anywhere? Why?
  34. Do you believe in any conspiracy theories?
  35. What’s your favorite takeout food?
  36. Did you enjoy your high school years? Your college years?
  37. Would you ever/have you ever done karaoke?
  38. What is something you avoid at all costs?
  39. What did you want to be when you were young?
  40. What’s one job you would never do?
  41. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
  42. What is your dream job?
  43. If you were lost in the woods, how long do you think you would survive? Why?
  44. Would you prefer to live in a large city or in the middle of the woods?
  45. What movie can you practically quote from start to finish?
  46. If you were a ghost, where would you haunt? Why?
  47. If you had to relive 10 minutes of your life for the next 48 hours, which 10 minutes would you relive?
  48. What is your absolute favorite memory?
  49. If you could master one new skill, what would it be?
  50. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you in the last month?
  51. What makes you feel accomplished?
  52. What is the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?
  53. Do you have any tattoos? What do they mean to you?
  54. What was your first job?
  55. Do you like surprises?
  56. What is your favorite word?
  57. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
  58. Would you ever take back someone who cheated?
  59. Do you believe in second chances?
  60. Do you have any regrets? What’s your biggest regret?
  61. What’s one controversial topic you’re incredibly passionate about?
  62. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?
  63. What are some personal “rules” you never break?
  64. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be?
  65. What are your top 3 priorities in life?
  66. What are the top 3 things on your bucket list before you die?
  67. What was the best advice you’ve ever received? Who gave it to you?
  68. If you could meet any historical figure, who would you choose to meet?
  69. How many siblings do you have? How close are you to them?
  70. What is your alcoholic beverage of choice?
  71. Do you enjoy dancing?
  72. How many dates must you go on before you lock lips?
  73. What are some of your insecurities?
  74. What are some of your pet peeves?
  75. Do you speak any other languages? Are there any languages you want to learn?
  76. What 3 qualities do you value most in a person? What 3 qualities do you admire most in a person? Why and why?
  77. What songs bring back memories for you? What memories and why?
  78. Where do you get the majority of your news?
  79. What social media are you on? Why are you on it?
  80. What enriches your life more than anything?
  81. What is your definition of “home”?
  82. When you’re incredibly stressed, what do you do to calm down?
  83. Have you ever shot a gun?
  84. How do you feel about the military?
  85. How close are you with your family?
  86. Would you ever go on a blind date? Who would you allow to set you up on a blind date?
  87. Who would you trust with your life?
  88. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? Why?
  89. What is your definition of “love”?
  90. Why do you think you are on this earth? What is your purpose in life?
  91. What was the worst time of your life? The best time?
  92. Do you want to have kids? Why or why not?
  93. What seemingly normal thing really upsets you?
  94. Do you have any phobias?
  95. Are you a dog person or are you a cat person?
  96. Do you take long or short showers? Or baths?
  97. What style do you want to decorate your first apartment/house?
  98. How do you feel about sex before marriage?
  99. What quality do you love most about yourself?
  100. When will you consider yourself “successful” in life? How do you define “success”?
Cover Image Credit: Personal Photo

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What My Long-Distance Relationship Taught Me

No one expects to find themselves in an LDR, but it can lead to valuable life lessons.

The summer going into my freshman year of college I fell in love with an amazing guy. He makes me laugh, supports my goals, and reminds me to not take life too seriously. We knew we did not want things to end after just one summer. Unfortunately, his school was six hours away from mine. So, we decided to try long distance.

Dating long distance was a situation I never anticipated being in, but one that I was willing to give a shot. A year and a half later and we now go to the same school. We are lucky enough to see one another every day, something we do not take for granted. Although our days of dating from a distance are in the past, I still reflect on the valuable lessons our LDR taught me.

Patience.

Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you, patience is not one of my virtues. However, being in a long-distance relationship challenged me to develop this trait. Patience helped me deal with the discomfort of living so far apart in a way that best suited my relationship. This self-control taught me that when life gets tough, having the ability to look into the future is valuable. My boyfriend did not run on the same schedule as me so finding the patience to accept that truth allowed us to come up with solutions to any problems that arose.

Communication.

Communication is essential to any LDR. Effective communication is much more than being able to talk though; it is also the ability to listen and understand others. Thankfully with today’s technology, it is easy to connect, whether that be through Facetime, text, or social media. Setting times to be in touch gave us something to look forward to and assured that we were keeping up with what was happening in each other's lives. Additionally, learning to address and resolve problems and conflict over distance prepared us to deal with future challenges in-person.

Trust.

You cannot have a relationship without trust, let alone a happy and fulfilling one. Trust is a two-way street, but when built it results in a tight, strong bond. It means you show mutual respect for each other’s boundaries, resolve conflicts in healthy ways, and show consideration and care. When you live hundreds of miles apart, trust is more important than ever. You cannot control who your partner spends time with or where they go, so you must trust that their words and behaviors will match up.

Creativity.

When you are in a long-distance relationship, finding interesting ways to do new things together can be difficult. Care packages, virtual movie dates, and surprise visits are just a few ways to make memories. By winter break of my freshman year, my boyfriend and I were both anxious to see one another. To add excitment to our reunion, I told him that I had an exam Friday afternoon and would not be home until Saturday. In reality, I finished my exams Monday afternoon. Nothing compared to the look on my boyfriend's face when I showed up on his doorstep Tuesday morning, four days earlier than he expected to see me. It is a memory we fondly look back on to this day and goes to show the difference a little creativity can make.

Commitment.

Commitment is a belief in the permanence of a relationship. Unlike love, it is a conscious decision. Neither one of you will always get your way. Disagreement is inevitable, but the conflict is optional. Finding ways to compromise will help you both to see things eye-to-eye. All relationships will have their ups and downs, but commitment will get you through it.


There will always be people who doubt whether your LDR will work, but what is important is that you trust and respect one another. Long distance is not easy, but as the saying goes, the things we have to work for are often the very things most worth having. In the end, a long-distance relationship can teach you a great deal about yourself and your partner and ultimately strengthen your relationship.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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