About three weeks ago, I got dumped. I suppose it was a mutual break up, but nonetheless, I was desperately crying to my friends that I had been dumped and I would never find love again. I was single, and lonely, for the first time in three in and a half years. Not knowing what to do with myself, I took to Tinder, and very quickly stumbled upon this amazing guy, who was really into me. The feeling was mutual. He kept talking about our future together, and I let my walls down, only to be told “ I can’t do this,” and to have my fairly fresh wounds ripped open once more.
I felt unwanted, alone, and miserable. I desperately craved the attention, comfort, and humor of someone who “gets me.” I needed to feel wanted, to feel loved.
But why did that love have to come from someone else?
It has taken almost 21 years of very low self-confidence, intertwined with long weeks of heartbreak, and a novel about a 30-year-old woman who travels the world to “find herself” to realize that the same attention, affection, and love that I so desperately craved from someone else had to foremost come from me.
I’ve always been so willing to give away my own affection, to love someone else for everything they are, but I never did the same for myself. I never took even the slightest amount of time to be selfish, and treat me the way I deserved. I think a lot of us are this way.
Learning to love yourself, and I mean truly love yourself, is not an easy path. I do not mean just “accept yourself for who you are;” I mean wholeheartedly love every fiber of your being.
You deserve to love yourself. You deserve to want yourself, to treat yourself, to be obsessed with yourself. You are so worthy. You are so beautiful.
There is no greater feeling than being madly in love with yourself and wanting to take care of who you are, emotionally, and physically. The most rewarding part? You can trust yourself more than anyone else. Falling in love with yourself means falling in love and staying in love; no heartbreak, no tears, but just joy, and a new found satisfaction for who you are.
As I previously stated, it’s not an easy thing to do. It takes time and patience. It starts with not thinking whatever it was you just did was stupid, laughing at your own jokes, and appreciating how good you look. And then it grows into appreciating every single inch of your body, valuing yourself, and making your happiness your number one priority.
Take time for yourself, go out on date nights alone, and stop stalking your ex on Facebook. Sit, breathe, listen to your thought and your body. Appreciate your own intelligence. Love your own sense of humor. Cherish your personality. Know that no one is more worthy of everything you have to offer than yourself.
