This time last year I told the wrong boy that I loved him, and in the moment I completely believed I did. In fact, in representative of my affection, I gave him a thimble. For those out there who don’t understand the Peter Pan reference: Wendy gave a thimble to Peter when she wanted to give him a kiss, but he didn’t understand. So, she settled for a metaphor.

Last year I felt like Wendy Darling. She put her faith in a character that she had built up in her mind and that she would always treasure with the naivety of her youth. But in reality, he turned out to be a boy who chose to not grow up. In my favorite version of Peter Pan (the 2003 version with Jason Isaacs as Hook) Wendy’s last line is “You’ll never forget me, right, Peter?” and to me, that says more about Wendy than anything I felt for her before.

I used to loathe her character. Who wants to grow up and face the unknown when you could battle pirates and stay young and foolish forever? I get it now. Wendy knew she had to grow up and face reality, even though it broke her heart to do so. The boy she thought she loved wouldn’t grow up or accept the responsibility that she begged him to grasp.

I guess I’m more like Wendy than I ever thought. I wasn’t willing to settle for a boy who didn’t want to accept responsibility for his actions, and it broke my heart to walk away.

But I’m infinitely grateful that I did.

I realized my value, and learned that I needed my own place. My value isn't based just by who I date or think I love. It took a little over a year for myself to grow and realize what I needed, and to learn that love isn’t something that comes in and crushes your heart when it was already broken.

So, I may have said the ‘L’ word, but in reality, are you actually in love with someone who shatters your heart and refuses to grow up?

And then there’s the opposite end of the spectrum from that: falling hard when you barely know the guy, except that his morals and beliefs line up with yours almost perfectly. The more you talk to him, the more you realize that he’s great, by far not perfect, but a wonderful, well-rounded, Godly man.

You’ve really gotten to know him for less than a month and he’s already making you question what you’ve always thought about love. You fall a little harder for him each day, and you aren’t scared to open up to him. It’s a little scary, but mostly exciting because these feelings are so strong that you have to remind yourself, you've only been talking a month, don't get in over your head.

So, what’s the difference then between a thimble and love? My guess is that you don’t need a metaphor for the real thing.