Quicker than I said "it's officially goose season," boys were being cuffed left and right. It is officially the season of night-ins with your boy and cuddling up with your cozy socks to only hit the pillow at 10 p.m. 'Tis the season of oversized sweaters and leggings that can fit over any muffin top, in order to hide the fact you've had way too many holiday drinks from Starbs.
I cannot stress enough how amazing this season is--whether it's because you can finally come up with an excuse to not go to the gym or because boys are finally down to sleepover and not just fuck over, I don't know.
But what if your boy is down to stay the in...every night? You hate to admit it, but sometimes there are plenty awkward silences and you always find yourself with another 5 minutes of forced laughter. He's a great boy, but a shy one.
In a season where stay-ins are a given, how do you deal with a boy who's a timid one? Hold on to your goose fur hoods, girls. I have some tricks up my faux fur sleeve.
1. Act natural
Whatever you do, don't make this more uncomfortable than you already think it is. Because after all, who likes a girl with zero chill? Deep breaths, B. In his head, he's just acting the way he always does. The only thing that will make this worse is if you sound like your forcing conversation, forcing laughter or forcing moves in order to save yourself from a dialogue. Remember, this is fixable.
2. Find the good conversation starters
There are certain ways to keep a good conversation going, and other ways to only hit a dead end. "What's your major?" makes me want to gag, and if you're seriously getting with him without knowing what he's studying, I'm sorry for you.
If you genuinely care about his schoolwork or classes, then pick the right questions. Steer clear of the questions that require a one-word answer. Some topics to consider: why he chose his major, what his high school was like, mumps season (had to) and Jewish geography.
3. Do an activity
Once a guy is rolling a joint, he's down to talk about whatever. Once he has a task to do, a conversation will be much less forced compared to if you were just lying on his bed. If you're watching a show, that's okay. But don't complain to me when you guys end up not talking at all. Shows are great if you already know the guy well. If you don't, a show will just end up cutting off the "getting to know you" conversations.
4. If you're down to go out, give him a motive
Let's be real. As fun as it is to throw on makeup and a scanty outfit, a huge reason as to why we give in to such a hassle is because we want to show ourselves off to our boy. If your boy is hardly ever down to go out to see you practically break an elevated surface, give him a reason to go out. If he's having afters at his frat and he doesn't see you till 2 a.m., he'll just be drunk and horny.
Have a good time by giving the night a couple of hours. Play a drinking game. Hang with his friends so he knows he doesn't have to choose between you and them. And if you're at a party with him, dance. If you're just on your phone, that'll give him one more reason to get back to his bed, get high and hit the lights.
5. If you're bored, don't be boring
If you really only see the guy in your bedroom when your roomie's out at Club Bird, it's time to get outside. Studying with him is a start. Hanging with his friends is even better. If you're really down, go to brunch, go somewhere outside or go to the movies for all I care. Once you guys have something to do, that'll bring up more and more conversation starters.
6. Don't act bored
If you're on your phone because the conversation is at a halt, he'll be moving on faster than you can say "rebound". Act interested. If you're interested, he'll look at you more than just a booty call.
7. Don't throw him out once you're done with the deed
If he's the one kicking you out, then that's a different story. But if you kick him out once you dirty up the sheets, he'll only see you as you see him. Once the deed is done, continue the conversation. He'll then realize he's more than just a hookup and will want to get more engaged in each hangout. Like I said, different story if he's the one giving you the boot because his "roommate is coming home".
8. Don't just talk about Greek life
As amazing as Greek life is, boys aren't as obsessed with it as we are. If your boy is in a frat, a little conversation is completely acceptable (and a given). But if you're only talking about other sororities, frat drama, sopro and roofie incidents? He'll think that's your main priority. As great of a conversation starter that it is, ask him his view of Greek life. Why did he join? Could he see himself without it? Have an intellectual conversation!!
9. Steer clear of the intense talk
If he becomes even more shy with intense conversation (family, exes, past hookups), do yourself a favor and rid yourself of any risk of him becoming even more introverted. There is a time and a place for those conversations, and they sure as hell don't have to be now.
Those conversations should never be forced or serve as a backup topic because you can't think of anything else to talk about. The light and fluffy conversations that have a chance at lasting more than 5 minutes are your priority right now.
10. Make him trust you and become his confidant
The closer you guys get, the more successful this relationship will turn out. Once you've gotten the conversations down, you'll begin to realize his shell is finally deteriorating. The more trustworthy and honest you are, the more comfortable he'll be towards you. Because after all, who wants a relationship without trust? The stronger the relationship, the closer you are to finding a boy who's finally down to spill everything to you.
