Growing up, we are obsessed with achieving—if not exceeding—everyone’s expectations. We want to get the grades our parents expect, to play as well as your coach wants, or be the best possible significant other in your relationship.
I always knew what was expected of me from everyone in my life, besides myself. I didn’t even take a second to consider what I expect of myself, let alone how those expectations need to be my main priority in life.
I felt like this was a perfectly good way to live my life. As long as the people around me were happy, then I would be too. But the truth is that if your expectations aren't the same as the ones you’re focusing on exceeding, will you even be happy?
Yes, making other people proud of you does bring happiness into your life, but is it enough to last a life time?
I really believe the only way to achieve true happiness is by doing exactly what you want. It can’t be found by living your life the way that everyone else thinks it should be done. You have to follow your own dreams, your own heart, and your own path.
If you’re good at science, people expect you to be a doctor. You probably grew up your whole life being told you would be one, and even telling others you wanted to be a doctor. But what if all you want to do is be a teacher? Or an author? Or a fashion designer? Are you going to suck it up and become a doctor just the please all the people around you? Your career path has such a major impact on your lifetime happiness. So, nobody’s expectations on what you should end up doing should weigh in at all when making this decision. Regardless of if your family and friends can picture you doing what you want or the amount of money you will be making—it doesn’t matter. Unless you want to spend every day dreading going into work and dreaming of the life you could have had, you have to focus on exactly what you want.
We realize pretty early on that you go to school and then when that's done, you get married. But getting married isn't for everyone. However, so many people do it because they grew up learning that's what you're supposed to do when you're an adult. Or that's what their significant other expects to happen after a certain amount of years spent together. When you start doing what other people expect, instead of what you want, you're just not going to be as happy as you could be.
The same thing happens with having children. Some people really have no desire to have kids and raise a family, but they constantly feel pressured to give your parents grandchildren or their significant other a family. This is a lifetime commitment, and I would hope no one would make this kind of choice because they feel expected to, but I wouldn't be surprised if some people do.
Not only do anyone else's expectations of you matter, but you need to be upfront about your own expectations for yourself. Most likely any family member or friend is going to be more than accepting of how you want to live your life, but you can't just assume they know what you want without telling them. If you're upfront from the beginning it can make sure a huge difference on the people who you surround yourself with and the future that you'll have.
When you're able to follow your own path, your life becomes purely what you make out of it. How could you not enjoy everyday when you're doing whatever you wanted, instead of worrying about what someone else wants you to do?
