It isn't uncommon to hear the phrase "Expectations kill relationships." I have heard this statement numerous times, and it has never settled well with me. Expectations do belong in a relationship, to an extent.
When you choose to be with someone, you hold them to higher standards. You might expect something more from them, simply because you know what they are capable of. You know if they are trying the hardest they can in work or school. If they are not, you expect them to pick it up. That's part of a relationship. You expect them to be the best person that they can be and will help them to get to that point if they are having problems.
Women used to have a lot of expectations placed upon them. We were expected to want to stay home, have children and be a homemaker. If this is what you want as a woman, that's perfectly fine. If you want to work instead of staying home with the kids, that's fine as well. Neither situation makes you more or less of a woman. What must be known is that your husband expecting you to stay home when you do not want to is an unfair expectation.
The expectations that do not belong in a relationship are the ones that are unfair and unrealistic. If your partner asks more from you than you can achieve or asks you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, you have the right to say no. You should never have to compromise yourself or your beliefs for another person. If your lover truly does have feelings for you, they would never ask anything of you that would require that.
To provide a wider opinion on this topic, I decided to ask some of the women around me about their opinion on expectations and relationships. I got a couple of interesting responses that really affected me.
"For me, unrealistic expectations have lead to the failure of a relationship. It's normal to have some expectations, but it's unrealistic for a guy to know everything you want unless you communicate with them. As women, we tend to hint at things and not be blatant about what we want. Men have no idea how to pick these things up because they are programmed differently." - Maggie Blevins, 21
"From being in a relationship for four years to recently being single, I know all about expectations! You have to realize when the expectations in your relationship become unrealistic. It's not fair when what you want is being overlooked and disregarded. You have to stand up for what you want for your happiness!" - Tayler Mazingo, 20
Overall, expectations can keep relationships alive and healthy. Do not fear them.
