School is starting on Monday and if you are a freshman chances are you are pretty excited to start off your college journey. For the first time, you are on your own, no parental supervision, no curfews, nobody to tell you to wash the dishes or clean your room before going out. With the excitement of this beloved freedom comes some expectations. And it is my job to break it down to you: forget everything you are expecting right now because chances are you are going to be disappointed. I was a freshman and my fellow upperclassmen students can tell you that things never turns out the way you want them to. I want to share two of my (funny) struggles with you so you can learn from them or make fun of me because you will be doing so much better than I did. And if you are an upperclassmen, you can remember the expectations you had coming into college. Feel some nostalgia and remember your own experience to see how far you have come. Sit back, relax and let me show you what not to do.

I am going to make lots of friends

EXPECTATION: It’s my first semester in college and I’m not the only freshman on campus, therefore, I am going to make friends easily. Since everybody is new and that everybody is looking to meet new people then I don’t have to worry about anything. I am going to make new friends, meet a lot of people and it is going to be so much better than high school. We’re all in college and we’re all grown-ups so making friends should not be that hard. Right? I am friendly and a little bit shy but that’s pretty cute so people will want to know me. For real guys I am so nice and just adorable and I cannot imagine people not wanting to know me. Everybody will want to be friends with me because I am just so awesome. I have a cute accent and I speak French, I bet they’ll ask me to teach them stuff in French. And guys? They’re going to find my accent attractive and it should be easy to find someone. And I have a dimple too.

REALITY: Nobody wants to be your friend because you are scaring them. Instead of talking to people you are just staring at them with a creepy smile. You think that your smile is friendly and meant to encourage them to come talk to you but they are just thinking this (pretty) girl is such a weirdo. By waiting for God to send you all these imaginary friends you are losing an opportunity to meet awesome people. People will never know that you are friendly or nice if they don’t get a chance to talk to you. You think that you are being friendly with a small smile and glanced at them, but you just look crazy and they’re probably wondering why you keep staring at them. Some of them will smile and walk away. In your head, you’re thinking of a conversation to have with this cute guy you saw at the Union but by the time you figure it out it’s too late he’s gone and chances are you’ll never see him again (Geneseo is small but when people disappear they disappear forever).

Freshman 15 is a myth

EXPECTATION: So when I was in high school I played a couple of sports here and there. I was pretty fit and healthy, I managed to lose 20 pounds (I was bored and decided to lose weight). Losing that much weight was so hard so I am not even gaining 1 pound because I don’t want to go through this weight loss journey again. I am going to eat healthier, I am going to exercise, I got this, and I am pretty much an expert in nutrition now. The gym is going to become my second home. I am going to take this opportunity to tone my body and look like Megan Good (lol lol lol -- this is not a joke I am literally crying my eyes off). I want to have tone legs, arms, stomach, I want everything. I am going to try protein shakes, it’s going to help me build up muscles. You got this girl! Nothing can stop you! I am motivated and I know I can do it because I am taking my life in charge today. I know what I want and I know what to do to get it. I am going to write my goals down and stick to them.

REALITY: You love food too much, it is a great love story between the two of you. You can’t stop eating because you need it. You like pizzas and cheeseburgers so you go to Letch every day and you buy those for lunch and dinner. For dessert? Instead of eating fresh fruits you want ice cream but not any kind of ice cream, you want three scoops in a waffle cone with whip cream. Freshman 15 was a myth because you are experiencing freshmen 20 but you don’t know it yet. What about the gym? Honey, you went to the gym for two days and you couldn’t take it anymore. Your legs were hurting so much that you forgot how to walk and was crawling everywhere you were going. People are calling you skinny when you complain about your weight gain. It is making you feel better so you forget about your insecurities for a minute. But at night you start thinking that they’re lying to you then you end up starting thinking about food and wake up the next morning chewing your pillow (confession of a food junkie).