I hate exercise. I find no pleasure in working out. Whenever people tell me how addicting exercise is or how much they just love working out, my first reaction is, “You’re joking, right?”
Fire burning throughout your body, an inability to breathe and the constant feeling that your heart might actually rip out of your chest at any given moment sounds more like medieval torture than an invigorating activity.
“Oh, but it feels so good the next day when you’re all sore, and you know your body is getting in shape and getting heal— “
No. It makes walking downstairs feel like a device from one of the Saw movies.
That being said, I’ve started to develop a thing for biking.
I never learned how to ride a bike. What? Yeah, I know. Everyone else has the same reaction as well. Up until around March of last year, I never knew how to ride a bicycle. When I was a kid no one taught me, and as I got into my early teens, I didn’t really see the need to learn.
It took until my late teens to decide I even wanted to learn, and even after I bought a bike, it took me a while to learn how to ride it (adult bikes don’t have training wheels, kids).
Now, I’m sure to most everyone else, biking is no big deal.
“Okay? You learned how to ride a bike at 19? Cool. I was 5.”
Yeah, okay, hot shot, round of applause for you.
However, to me, this was a huge milestone. It wasn’t just learning how to ride a bike (which I was pretty happy about just on its own); it was the fact that the majority of my life I had let my dependence on others define me. For me, this simple task symbolized overcoming a part of myself that I had been struggling with for years, and biking is still one of my favorite activities…or at least…physical activities.
There’s something special about riding a bike. It feels like flying. I love the feeling of the wind against my face and in my hair and the rush of invigorating air that fills my lungs. As I pedal by, I feel the wind, see the trees, hear the birds, smell and taste the fresh air—my senses are filled with the world around me, and I feel like I am one with the nature surrounding me. I become a part of something greater. I am something greater. I am one with the universe; it’s one with me. I am floating and flying and free.
Sometimes my legs get sore when I have to go uphill, and sometimes a lot of the time I hate that, but this pain reminds me that the pleasure I’m experiencing is derived from myself. I am the one pedaling the bike. I am in charge of my freedom and happiness. I am in control.
I always hear people talk about the ups and downs. Life is a roller coaster, right? However, this always paints the ups as positive and the downs as negative, but I don’t personally believe this is always the case. Sometimes it’s going uphill that’s the worst and most painful, and sometimes it’s going down that’s the most freeing and invigorating. That’s life though. It’s not always black and white. There’s always going to be good in the bad and bad in the good. Yin and Yang. You can’t have one without the other.
You have to hold onto to good when you’re dealing with the bad, and you can’t let the bad spoil the good. Sometimes it’s confusing. Most of the time it’s confusing. Sometimes you get lost, and sometimes you get really hurt. The most important thing is knowing it’s okay to get off the bike. It’s okay to stop. Sometimes, we need a break to figure out where we are and get back on the path; sometimes we need to stop to explore the wilderness outside the path. Sometimes we just need a damn break, and that’s okay. It’s okay.
As long as you get back on.
Take a break; take however many you need. Taking a break is not giving up. We need them. Breathe. Look around. Don’t be afraid to explore the world and your place in it, and don’t be afraid to explore the world inside yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, but also, don’t be afraid to trust yourself. Life is a journey, and it’s confusing and it’s hard, but it’s so, so worth it.
Always get back on. Keep riding. Take control. Make your freedom. Make your happiness. Fly.
…now, if only I could feel the same way about running.
