It seems as if these days, good manners and common courtesy are becoming more and more scarce. The news and media portray our American generation as impatient, ungrateful, and down right self-absorbed. As true as that reality may be in our society today, I am blessed to have been raised in the heart of the deep south where hospitality is not something we "practice," it's a genuine way of life.
Contrary to the beliefs of one particular northerner as stated in the article "Southern Hospitality Is As Fake As The People Who Practice It," being polite is not synonymous with being fake. At least not where I come from. My consideration and hospitality towards others comes from the sincerest of depths of my heart, even when I do not feel like it, even when I do not particularly like the person, and even when I disagree with major personal beliefs and standards that person may hold. My southern hospitality taught me to be kind and tolerant and mindful of every person, all the time, no matter the circumstances. I apologize that you were taught that acting in that way towards your fellow neighbors was a "waste of time." It saddens me that your heart feels that way.
To the accusation that anyone practicing southern hospitality is simply "straight up lying to people," I think you've confused southern hospitality with some other actions ill-afforded you by one encounter with one person not having a genuine and kind heart. Southern hospitality is saying "yes ma'am/sir" and "no ma'am/sir" to anyone older than you out of respect for their seniority and maturity over you. Southern hospitality is saying "excuse me" and "I'm sorry" when you accidentally bump into someone on the sidewalk instead of hurrying past like they didn't matter to you. It is saying "please" and "thank you" when you want something from someone else, because you don't deserve to be given anything without being polite. Southern hospitality is offering your hand, your home, your help, and your heart to anyone who may need it, because if the roles were reversed, you would hope someone would do the same for you; even a complete stranger with nothing to gain from simply being kind. Southern hospitality means keeping rude thoughts or unnecessary comments to yourself instead of hurting someone and starting a conflict for no reason at all. It means smiling when you've been insulted or embarrassed because you're stronger than that and can rise above. It means asking "How's your family?" or "How have you been?" when you run into someone in the grocery store that you may not care for very much, even if just so they feel someone cared enough to ask. It means giving a friendly, wave of the hand as you pass a random truck on the road or a kid riding his bike just to acknowledge their important existence in this great, big world.
None of those actions are disingenuous or untruthful in the slightest. They come from a very real place in the heart of everyone raised in families and communities found in plenty below the Mason Dixon Line. It doesn't take any extra time to think of others as much as you think of yourself and extend sincere kindness with the simplest of actions.
As for the rest of your assumptions about southern hospitality, hypocrisy and gossip and talking behind people's back are not specific to southern culture. Those people will be found in every social network, in every neighborhood, in every state, across the country. From New York, to California, to Texas, you can bet you will find plenty of people who say one thing and do another. It's a human nature, not a southern trait, my dear. In addition, so is being judgmental, which you seem to be very. I am very firm in my personal beliefs of anti-abortion, anti-gun control, marriage between a man and a woman, and many more things I'm sure you don't understand and find absurd. I don't understand your reasoning for believing a lot of less conservative things, but I do not judge you for them. It's not in my nature and it's not what I was taught. Someone who acts any other way by not showing the same kindness to all people regardless of their beliefs or social standings, skin color or sexual orientation is not "practicing" southern hospitality as you have so widely defined it. They are just not truly a loving soul.
I am so sorry that you have had any interaction with any person from any place at all that has made you this bitter and hurt by their actions. I do not believe any person should ever feel that way after an interaction with someone else. I offer my heart and my friendship to you, without even knowing you, and I hope that it truly makes a positive impact on your life. For that's the least I can do in this life: be truly kind to God's other children as He has been so good to me. That's my southern hospitality philosophy.
