My Ex's New Girlfriend Doesn't Compare To Me
Swoon

My Ex Dumped Me For A Girl Who Does Not Compare To Me At All

It's about self-worth.

62

I have a 24-hour rule with myself regarding social media. I first heard this rule in a high school auditorium presentation from a college sports recruiter, who said his players are instructed to give 24 hours of thought before posting about an issue online or speaking about it publicly.

I know a lot of girls who feel the same way in regard to relationships, in that I don't post about you until you post about me. I am not open with others about relationships I may be in because I do not want everyone to see it fall apart if I can have any control over it.

If there is anything you should know about me, it is that I am terrified of looking like a fool. I would genuinely rather give someone a million chances before ending a relationship with them because I do not want my friends to ask me what happened. I don't want my friends to know I am upset over a relationship, because I don't want to hear the negative things I know they are going to say.

I know I am careless with my feelings — I should be more secretive with them. If I enjoy being around someone, I am very vocal about that. If I am angry, you are not going to have to guess why, because I will let you know very quickly.

I very briefly dated a guy with who I did not have a previous connection. I had always dated guys I had been friends with, had a mutual friendship with, or had gone to school with. I was too quick to jump into a relationship with someone new, and I took for granted what I had thought of as awful high school rumors.

It became clear to me there were many relationships in the past I had chosen to steer clear of or remove myself from solely based on things I had heard, and those things may not have even been true. But, in my eyes, if anyone had any reason to say something bad about anyone I was interested in, they probably had a reason to say it.

I wished I had had someone to warn me.

I wished when I mentioned his name to my friends they would've said words like "liar" and "user" in a hushed tone like they had before. Or even texted me hours later to avoid embarrassing me, just to let me know they didn't think I was making the right choice.

I didn't know I was an option. How would I know I was an option when it seemed like a minute didn't go by that I didn't have a notification from him on my phone? How could he have had time for another girl when it seemed like I was the main focus? I still don't know and I'm not sure if I'd like to.

The issue is I am not an option.

I can stand to put up with childish behaviors for a while but I will not be an option. I won't be second to someone who is OK with seeing pictures of me on all of his social media platforms, seeing a girl and being able to participate in such an act against her. I know it is not her fault, but I do know she had a choice.

She chose to be part of something that hurt me. I will not be an option.

I know I am flawed but I also know I would not want another girl to feel how I have felt. I could not look into the eyes of a smiling girl, even if on a screen, and know she is going to be hurt by what I am doing. Maybe if she felt the way I did, she wouldn't have done it. He chose a girl who is willing to hurt and willing to be a creator of trust issues over me.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content
Health and Wellness

This Survey Shows How Quarantine And Drinking Relate, And I Can't Say I'm Surprised

"5 o'clock somewhere" is more of a guideline now than ever.

As it stands, and my friends and I are finally 21. We're extremely excited to be able to go out to bars and "get lit" as the kids say, but due to the pandemic, all of our plans have been put on hold. We'd rather wait and go when it's safe than risk spreading the infection and hurting our loved ones. So, we've all been quarantining apart, getting on the occasional wine zoom call. This made me wonder if anyone else our age were doing the same thing.

Then, I discovered this survey: We Surveyed Millennials And Gen Z About Their Quarantine Drinking Habits — Cheers. Here are 3 things that I discovered through the survey results.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Easy Summer Mocktail Recipes You Can Make With Items You Probably Already Have On-Hand

Keep these drinks in mind next time you're visiting your local farmer's market — you might want to grab some extra mint and limes.

With Summer 2020 in full swing comes the addition of many fresh fruits and vegetables to brighten up your dinner plate, but also your glass! Farmers markets are my personal favorite place to look for produce that is in season to make fun mocktails with.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Ways To Celebrate The 4th of July — Without Fireworks Or Social Gatherings

We created a list of things to do since social distancing may create a dent in our typical, planned traditions.

With the Fourth of July on Saturday, the usual tradition of popping fireworks, grilling out, and being surrounded by family has been modified due to the pandemic. Whether you're a loner or surrounded by family, there will most likely be some changes to your celebrations.

For weeks on social media, people across the country have been complaining that they have been subjected to fireworks going off at all times of the night into the early morning. This has sparked concern and questions about why this is happening and how are people even obtaining the fireworks.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Carb And Cheese Lovers, Unite — These Are The Best Mac And Cheese Recipes On The Internet

Whether you need to get through the current pandemic or want to spice up your Fourth of July celebrations, these mac and cheese recipes will do just that.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxIKdnMHcGr/

My favorite food is mac and cheese, and it always has been. All it requires is noodles and cheese — it's so simple to make. Although it's my favorite, it can also get kind of mundane because it's such a simple recipe. This, of course, has led to many people all over the world experimenting with the American staple.

With our lives currently being turned upside down due to the pandemic, a lot of people are seeking comfort. These are scary times, and in order to make it day-to-day, we need to have our favorite foods as a standby. These recipes can also be used during your celebration of the Fourth of July.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

17 Things To Make You Feel GOOD This Week

Because some purchases are just necessary.

Y'all, we're struggling. You don't even have to tell me, I know. What a mess we're all in, right? This year is not going how we planned and the world has turned into one giant struggle bus. I guess you could be super philosophical about everything happening for a reason, but sometimes life is just hard.

There are plenty of ways to bring yourself out of whatever rut you're in. You could go for a run, have a snack, or read a book. Or, if you're really looking for an adrenaline rush, go shopping. This is obviously not going to solve the world's problems with one swift click of the "checkout" button, but hey, it may just give you the little boost you need today.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Wore A Butt Mask Every Day For A Month, And It's Officially Essential In My Daily Self-Love Routine Now

Thirty days later, my booty's as smooth as a baby's.

- Blissfully unaware that butt-care beyond squats was even something I should be considering in my self-care routine, I tried one of Bawdy Beauty's butt masks for the first time a month ago.

- I've never really given my butt a second though till I took a look at improvements that could be made with the mask — if one of the hydrating, firming, detoxifying, or brightening masks in the kit I received could either smooth out cellulite or tone my skin a bit more, I wasn't going to complain.

- Each Bawdy Beauty sheet mask comes in an individually-packaged sheet, soaked with a serum I massaged into my skin after removing said sheet. The clay butt mask comes in a convenient stick format I simply draw on to my skin and leave to set for about 10 minutes before hopping into the shower.

- I set a goal of committing myself to butt-care every day for one month. Between the regular use of sheet masks, clay masks, and their CBD Butt Balm in between, I didn't have many expectations.

- I thought the whole concept may just be a gimmick, but my butt has never looked so toned in my life, and the cellulite I had is almost completely gone. I wear one every single day when I get the chance.

I'm incredibly skeptical when it comes to marketing ploys and gimmicks in the beauty world. I'll be the first cynic to try out the latest serum on the market every influencer is raving about just to negate every grandiose claim it makes.

Keep Reading... Show less

Friends, you don't have to be quarantined to use a personal massager, you know? Because, sure, quarantine made for a lot of extra quality time with yourself, but no matter what phase of the reopening process you're in, it's normal and actually healthy to take care of your sexual needs on your own.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

5 Books I Didn't Realize Are About Gay Women

If you read primarily LGBTQ fiction, then this list might help to expand your TBR list.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Frequent readers of LGBTQ fiction might feel like they're reading the same book over and over again, with few exceptions.

Most of these books were on my TBR list for months and I didn't realize they were about gay women until I was reading them, hopefully, this list of books can interest you in expanding your reading material and seeking out different stories.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments