Dear (ex) Best Friend,
Hi. I wonder if you’ll actually see this. I wonder if you’ll know I’m writing this about you. I wonder if you’ll even care. I wonder. I wonder all the time. I wonder what happened. Why you just disappeared and why you left my life without any warning. I wonder how you’re doing. How’s school? How’s your family? Dogs? Boyfriend? I still wonder about you.
I can’t say that we were friends for forever or even for years, but when we did become friends, I didn’t know how we weren’t friends before that. You got me and there weren’t many people at that time who did. It’s been four years since we’ve spoken. I would do anything to go back to the time when I was at your house after school every day or you would make fun of me for saying the stupidest things. I remember we would listen to Katy Perry and eat anything we could get our hands on. Then it all just stopped. We started talking less, laughing less, texting less and then it became silent. I reached out to you time and time again. Message after message and no response. I didn’t know what I did. For days I was sick to my stomach. I felt like I lost my sister. It hurt and it still does. We had just discussed college and how we would talk 24/7 and you just made me a beautiful best friend collage and then I blinked and it was all gone.
I saw you around school laughing, having the time of your life like I didn’t even exist. Like we were never even friends. You didn’t even seem phased that we didn’t speak or even look at each other anymore. Was our friendship even real? Was I dreaming? I didn’t understand. I still don’t. There was never an explanation. Maybe I just wasn’t good enough to be your best friend anymore. I guess forever really didn’t mean forever.
Four years later, I still think about this and I still wonder why. I wonder if you ever feel the same way. I wonder what our friendship would be like now and how life would be different. I wonder if I would be in your Instagram pictures and if you would be in mine? I see you’re happy and doing well and that is so great to see.
Even though our friendship may have ended I am still thankful for the time we were friends. I thank you for all the laughs, and late night conversations. I thank you for the fun times and the way you opened my mind to new things. I thank for pushing me to be my best and having confidence in me. I thank you for being there when no one else was and being a shoulder to cry on too many times. I thank you for the memories and the lessons. I mostly thank you for our friendship.
It still stings to talk about, but no matter what I still consider you the best friend I ever had. If you ever needed me I would be there. I would still try to be that friend for you. You will always have a special place in my heart. I miss you and I love you. I wish you well and happiness always.
Love,
Your Ex-Best Friend
