To The Ex Who Made Me Put Myself Last
Start writing a post
Relationships

To The Ex Who Made Me Put Myself Last

I lost my breath running marathons for you even when you wouldn't run a mile for me.

66
To The Ex Who Made Me Put Myself Last
Pexels

First off thank you for treating me like I was only a convenience and an option because now I know and I will never settle for anything less than I deserve.

You didn't even realize how the way you treated me affected my self-confidence and my independence. You made me vulnerable.

You made me put myself last.

You made me fall so selflessly in love with you that I forgot to take care of myself. I forgot who I was and what my passions were. I was so wrapped up in making sure you were happy that I lost the need to satisfy my own personal needs.

I put my doubts aside and believed you even when rumors flew around. I loved you so much that I looked like a fool for you. I treated you the way I wanted to be treated... but sadly I never got the love back that I gave to you. When I was alone and sick, you were never there. When I was breaking down in my room, you never picked up the phone. You never went the extra mile for me when I ran marathons for you.

I dropped anything and everything to rush to your side when you needed me.

You made me crazy. You told me you'd never do the things I was uneasy about and you turned around and did them anyway. You told me you loved me and only saw me in your life but you'd jump at the opportunity to party instead of spend time at my family party. You made me believe this was love. You made me believe love was "understanding" when you would blow me off to hang with your friends every single day. You made me believe love was never taking me on a date for holidays like Valentine's Day.

You somehow twisted my mind and made me feel crazy for feeling the ways that I did. I know they were valid then, but you defended your guilty conscience til the very end. You would get angry at me for pulling a you on you. You wanted me trapped, all to yourself... but you weren't all mine were you?

That wasn't love. Love isn't possession. Love isn't emotionally abusive. Love isn't selfish. Love isn't controlling. Love isn't all about what you put on social media. Love isn't just physical.

Love is commitment and communication. Love is understanding. Love is realizing where you went wrong and working hard to fix any problem. Love is mutual. Love is being the shoulder to cry on when you need it the most. Love is feeling whole. Love is about bringing out the best in someone, not the worst.

So thank you... thank you for showing me what love is NOT and for making me realize what type of love I want and will have with someone else. Thank you for allowing me to understand and appreciate my worth to the fullest. I have never been this self-confident in my life. Thank you for breaking me down because I had the chance to build myself up for the better.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

88734
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

57052
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments