Every single thing I have done throughout college flashes before my eyes. I replay scenarios in my head, rethink thoughts, rewrite words; I relive the past four years. It’s senior week, I am graduating in five days and I wish I could do it all over again. The big question for me is, what would I change? Would I choose a different roommate freshman year and join a new friend group? Definitely not. I’m going to miss her shoes scattered around the room and her clothes all over the floor. Would I pick a different major? Is the forty-page research paper really worth all that stress? Yes, I love Sport and Recreation Management, and all the options I have for a career. Would I have done better if I transferred after my lacrosse coach quit at the end of our first season? But then I might not have been captain. So all of these questions lead me to one answer: I wouldn’t change anything.
Every practice, every party and every all nighter that I spent trying finishing my homework that was due the next day, was worth it. The past four years and the decisions I made throughout them made me the person I am today. After 22 years of searching for self worth, I've found it. I appreciate who I am, flaws and all. My life would be so odd if I had done things differently. It wouldn’t be my life.
Freshman year was full of rookie mistakes such as flirting with the wrong boys and fighting with the wrong girls. Sophomore year was full of failing courses. Junior year was a reality check where I realized I actually had to budget my money for groceries. Finally, senior year was the eye opener—the emotional roller coaster was about to come to an end. Waking up at 6 a.m. with nerves in my tummy and realizing that next year I would have a brand new routine was terrifying. No more greeting my roommate after a dreadful class. No more leaving the door unlocked because we trusted everyone on campus. No more pressing snooze because you are allowed three unexcused absences in class—I’m pretty sure the real world doesn’t allow you those excuses. And in a few short days everything was going to change.
In just five days, I would be an alumna. I have less than a week to hang out with my friends, walk across that stage, pack up my things and leave. People ask me what I am feeling and I never know what to say. When I was 18 I was so excited to graduate high school because I got to look forward to college. I was so ready for this new world, but what now? I’m 22, about to be tossed into reality, and I’m indifferent. I am excited that I don’t have to do homework and answer to my professors, but I will have bosses and managers to report to. I can’t wait to make money, but I also have to spend it wisely. I know I will make new friends, but it’s not as simple as seeing someone in the dormitory hallway and saying hello. How else am I supposed to feel?
Every second of every day in college was an experience. My body changed, my mentality transformed and I developed as an individual. I learned a lot, not just in the classrooms, but also in life lessons. I burned some bridges, but also made many new connections. I’ve had some failures, but I’ve also accomplished things I never before thought possible. College was where I evolved the most. I am fortunate enough to say that it was my home for the past four years and it welcomed me with open arms. Now it is time for another fresh beginning and I hope that it embraces me just like college did.
