The Inevitable: Change
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The Inevitable: Change

change is OK!!! pinky promise

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The Inevitable: Change
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To the high school second semester seniors of the world: do. not. blink. These next couple of months will be some of the best you have ever experienced, and they are going to fly by. Of course there are lots of perks to being a second semester senior, and there is still a lot to look forward to. There was, however, this dark cloud that hung over my head as the days got shorter and my time in high school came to a close. That dark cloud was the idea of change. I have ALWAYS hated change. I could never comprehend that change isn’t always a bad thing. When I was little, my grandparents were re-doing their bathroom and I cried for days about it. Even though I basically didn’t have a backpack all of last year and definitely forgot how to hold a pencil, I couldn’t help but always think about all the scary “new” I had ahead of me. How could I leave my room, my dog, my family, my friends, my deli? Everything that lied ahead of me was the unknown and it seemed like I was being pulled in 2 directions : trying to embrace the time I had left at home and making lasting memories, and on the other hand I felt like all my grade could talk about was college, and we couldn’t focus on the present. On top of that, goodbyes are my worst enemy; I’m horrible at goodbyes no matter how temporary they are or who I’m saying it to. We all knew the end of our era as dependent children was inevitable, but it also felt like it was impossible. Every time something felt like an end, it never really was. There was the last day of high school, but we still had prom and summer to enjoy. Then we graduated, had prom, senior booze cruise, etc. Each of these events were milestones in the journey to the end of what we knew and the beginning of our new adventures. I knew this, but it was never the official goodbye so it never felt real. In all the free time I had at the end of the year and summer, there was also a lot of space in my brain for questions: Who am I going to eat my first meal with? What if I have a bad roommate? How do I make new friends? How do I ask people for help with homework if I don’t know anyone? Everything seemed horrible. I was more than comfortable at home and very set in my ways. I didn't want a clean slate and have to start all over. My mom kept telling me all this change was nothing but good for me. I was going to Tulane in freaking New Orleans, the happiest school in the world, and I only had good things ahead of me. I would dismiss her motherly advice as I do and just be pessimistic about the whole thing. Eventually I couldn’t escape the goodbyes as one friend left after the next; then it was my turn. I boarded my one way flight to Louisiana and jumped right into a whole new world. There was transition after transition, but in the end, as much as I hate to admit it, my mama was right. The changes were scary because my life long friends weren't there by my side, and my dog wasn't there to cuddle with. But what I realized is that every freshman is in the same exact boat as me, and that is what I didn’t see coming. In high school, I wouldn’t have been the person to branch out and try new things, basically ever. But in college, everyone is doing it and you will too. If some random person sitting next to you in class asks to get lunch or study later, do it. You never know, this is new to both of you. I now have friends from all over the country. College is about broadening your horizons and trying new things. Going into college with the mindset of hating the idea of change, flipped within the first week. And this whole idea of the life I knew coming to a drastic end was wrong. I speak to my family and friends everyday. Even though it is different, we still act the same. During my first semester of college, I had some of the best times of my life, and everything I did was new; never thought I would say that. Everything worked out the way it should and all the concerns I had we’re slowly but surely relieved. Your life isn’t over when you leave home and your not starting a brand new life, which is what it felt like to me before: oblivion. College is just an added bonus to your life. I have new sisters and brothers and memories and favorite foods and favorite teachers and a comfy ass new bed, and I love it all just as much as I did in my “previous life”.

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