In a world where there is constant chatter about big things, small things, and everything in between, it's hard to feel confident and secure in who we are. Whether we're insecure about our weight, race, age, clothes, car, sexuality, job, etc., everyone is insecure about something.

No matter what our insecurities are, other people always seem to think they know us better than we know ourselves. Sometimes, we make comments about others without realizing what we are actually saying. Often, these comments make us relate a characteristic to a person. Almost always, we have no idea. I've compiled a list of 25 statements that contribute to pre-conceived ideas that we have been culturally programmed to think of others. These statements are known as microaggressions.

Microaggression: a subtle but offensive comment, action, snub, or insult whether intentional or unintentional, that communicates hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to target persons based solely upon their marginalized group membership, which reinforces a stereotype

1. You’re so skinny. Eat something.
2. I’m sorry, you’re extremely intelligent and qualified for this position, but you can’t work here, you have tattoos.
3. Her hair is short. I bet she’s a lesbian.
4. You're pretty, for a black girl.
5. Acne is gross, do you ever wash your face?
6. You forgot? You’re such a blonde.
7. He works out all the time, what a douchebag.
8. You didn’t have sex on the first date? Lame.
9. I wish he would stop answering so many questions in class, he’s such a try hard.
10. I don’t care if you’re gay, just don’t act gay around me.
11. Three guys in one month, she’s such a slut.
12. Who bought you that car? Mommy and Daddy?
13. Oh, you dance? You’re not an athlete.
14. That's retarded.
15. You don't act Mexican.
16. You have a job in high school? Are your parents poor?
17. I don’t know why you eat so healthy. It’s annoying.
18. You run like a girl.
19. The music you listen to is not music.
20. Her clothes are designer. I’d hate to talk to her, I just know she’s a spoiled bitch.
21. You’re in a band? So you’re trying to get famous?
22. I don’t know why you wear so much makeup, can’t you just like yourself how are you are?
23. She’s fat, she needs to work out.
24. What are you going to do with an arts degree?
25. You’re 15. You have no idea what you’re talking about.

LET’S STOP JUDGING ONE ANOTHER.

We have to get these culturally programmed ideas out of our heads if we want to reach a place of complete acceptance. Just because someone has tattoos doesn’t mean they would be an inadequate employee, blondes aren't dumb, and how is someone supposed to 'act' based on their race? We have to understand that everyone comes from somewhere, and all of those places are different. Characteristics do not reflect who someone is as a person. Just because someone is thin, doesn’t mean they have an eating disorder. Just because someone isn’t thin, doesn’t mean they are unhealthy. We cannot let what’s on the surface be a judge of character. We have to stop making uneducated assumptions and generalizations about one another.

We are culturally programmed to think that a teenager driving a new car is spoiled and has rich parents. But how do we know that’s actually the case by passing them on the highway? WE DON’T. Maybe that teenager is proud of buying their own car, we never know. We’re culturally programmed to think that someone wearing all designer clothes is uptight, but they could actually be down to earth and kind, which are things we can’t learn if we don’t give them the time of day based on an assumption. Remember the old saying, “when you assume, you make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me.’”

Microaggressions, judgment slurs, and poor conclusions about others create issues within our society that directly affect us each and every day. Some of these preconceived and uneducated ideas translate to racism, sexism, discrimination, and inequality.

Think about racial stereotypes. For example, white girls can’t dance, Asians can’t drive, Muslims are terrorists, and Hispanics can’t learn English. These are just a few, but the list goes on and on. Now think about how many of those statements are actually true. NONE. Is it fair to make stereotypical generalizations of an entire race based on what we are culturally programmed to think? NO.

Now, think about a few gender stereotypes. Women aren’t smart, men are unemotional, girls with short hair are lesbians, and skinny guys are gay. How many of those are true? Again, NONE.

“What are people going to think?” is a question we ask ourselves way too often. We have grown accustomed to worrying about how we are going to be perceived due to the kinds of statements we’ve heard, experienced, and have maybe even said. We then become afraid to be our true selves, and in turn, end up trying to please others instead of living for ourselves, since we don’t want others to have false ideas of who we are.

While it might be hard to break out of this mindset of insecurity, we have to fight it. We have to stop caring if someone is thin, if someone wears makeup, or drives a nice car. We have to stop acting like we know people because we know their race, their gender, or their age. The truth is, people are going to talk. No matter what you do, who you are, or where you are from, people will have something to say about it. Sometimes it’s their own insecurities talking, and other times it’s what they’ve been taught to think, and some truly do not know anything else. This is why education is important, and we have to be aware of the things we say. We have to work towards a world where we can embrace diversity in different capacities and not be so concerned about what’s on the surface.

Before we make assumptions, we need to realize that we don’t know someone’s story. Looking at someone does not qualify as seeing them. We can start by realizing microaggressions, pointing them out, and being aware of how inaccurate, unfair, and unjust it really is to make such pre-conceived judgements. So, next time we start to define someone by what they are wearing, how they look, or where they are from, let’s stop for a second, think, and remember that everything is not what it seems.