4 Ways To Be Mindful Of Others

4 Ways To Be Mindful Of Others

Learning to see through other people's eyes in four short steps.
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The way I see it, to be mindful of someone you need to show a certain degree of respect for them regardless of age, gender, race, etc. Respect does not equal being in agreement with everyone and everything they say. However, respect applies to one another's right to be happy and live their lives. If you ever wonder if you're correctly displaying this, ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I demonstrating ignorance?

I'm sure I don't need to tell you that we live on a pretty big planet, harboring an ever-growing population of seven billion people. We all come from different cultural backgrounds, which makes the world diverse and should be celebrated. Names and traditions common to other nations should not be shocking because they display an originality and a creativity that is uniquely human. So when you are confronted with something unfamiliar, instead of immediately judging it, try to understand it and find something about it that you like. You could even make some friends that way!

2. Is what I'm saying or doing necessary?

Sometimes we make fun of people for no real reason with no purpose to our actions or words. Next time you say something negative about someone, think to yourself: "Do I need to be saying this?" If you're saying it behind their back, the answer is likely no. If you're saying it to their face, think about whether it will just hurt them or whether it will actually help them fix their lives. And just to be clear, pointing out imperfections falls under the "Unnecessary" category because often those are uncontrollable. Pointing out someone's acne won't make it magically disappear, and will probably make the person feel overwhelmingly self-conscious.

Just saying.

3. Am I infringing on their right to be who they are?

This is an extremely important point similar to the fact that we come from different cultures. News flash: we also all have different personalities. Making someone feel bad about the things they are passionate about is disrespectful to their humanity and to the way that they were created. It drives me crazy when I hear comments about how "Weird" someone else's hobby is when a lot of times it's really just a display of originality. It's not wrong to be different, it's exciting. Treat people as such.

4. Am I making everything about me?

Finally, you have to put yourself in someone else's perspective. You could be saying, "Stop being dramatic" to someone who believes they have every right to make a big deal about their situation. You never want to make someone feel as if their struggles are insignificant. An example is the argument that other people have had it worse. Can we actually get people to stop saying that? You would never look at a person with one black eye asking for help and say "I have two black eyes so suck it up" because that does nothing to change the fact that the other person is suffering. Emotional stress is the same way, you just can't see it.

If you take the time to really think about these things, you could really make a difference. People tend to gravitate to those who understand them, and there's no way you can understand someone else if you make everything about you. So next time you say or do something someone else finds offensive, instead of immediately justifying go through the steps and see if you are being ignorant or prejudiced. We are equal but different, and we cannot coexist until we've all realized that and put it into practice.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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6 Things You Should Know About The Woman Who Can't Stand Modern Feminism

Yes, she wants to be heard too.

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2018 is sort of a trap for this woman. She believes in women with all of the fire inside of her, but it is hard for her to offer support when people are making fools of themselves and disguising it as feminism.

The fact of the matter is that women possess qualities that men don't and men possess qualities that women don't. That is natural. Plus, no one sees men parading the streets in penis costumes complaining that they don't get to carry their own fetus for nine months.

1. She really loves and values women.

She is incredibly proud to be a woman.

She knows the amount of power than a woman's presence alone can hold. She sees when a woman walks into a room and makes the whole place light up. She begs that you won't make her feel like a "lady hater" because she doesn't want to follow a trend that she doesn't agree with.

2. She wants equality, too

She has seen the fundamental issues in the corporate world, where women and men are not receiving equal pay.

She doesn't cheer on the businesses that don't see women and men as equivalents. But she does recognize that if she works her butt off, she can be as successful as she wants to.

3. She wears a bra.

While she knows the "I don't have to wear a bra for society" trend isn't a new one, but she doesn't quite get it. Like maybe she wants to wear a bra because it makes her feel better. Maybe she wears a bra because it is the normal things to do... And that's OK.

Maybe she wants to put wear a lacy bra and pretty makeup to feel girly on .a date night. She is confused by the women who claim to be "fighting for women," because sometimes they make her feel bad for expressing her ladyhood in a different way than them.

4. She hates creeps just as much as you do. .

Just because she isn't a feminist does not mean that she is cool with the gruesome reality that 1 in 5 women are sexually abused.

In fact, this makes her stomach turn inside out to think about. She knows and loves people who have been through such a tragedy and wants to put the terrible, creepy, sexually charged criminals behind bars just as bad as the next woman.

Remember that just because she isn't a feminist doesn't mean she thinks awful men can do whatever they want.

5. There is a reason she is ashamed of 2018's version of feminism.

She looks at women in history who have made a difference and is miserably blown away by modern feminism's performance.

Not only have women in the past won themselves the right to vote, but also the right to buy birth control and have credit cards in their names and EVEN saw marital rape become a criminal offense.

None of them dressed in vagina costumes to win anyone over though... Crazy, right?

6. She isn't going to dress in a lady parts costume to prove a point.

This leaves her speechless. It is like the women around her have absolutely lost their minds and their agendas, only lessening their own credibility.

"Mom, what are those ladies on TV dressed up as?"

"Ummm... it looks to me like they are pink taco's honey."

She loves who she is and she cherished what makes her different from the men around her. She doesn't want to compromise who she is as a woman just so she can be "equal with men."

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Believe It Or Not, Trump Is Not An Idiot

I know this headline is scary, but hear me out.

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If we were to place all of the smartest people in the world on a stage, Trump would be sitting (angrily I'm sure) in the audience. I do not think that Trump is an extraordinarily smart man. In fact, I wouldn't even consider him an ordinarily smart man. However, to call him an idiot would somehow diminish all of the harmful things he has done. To call Trump an idiot is to take away from how dangerous he truly is. To be clear, he is not dangerous because of his status, or his power, or even his money. He is dangerous because of his hate. If all of the hostility that man carries isn't enough, he holds alongside him a troop of people as equally, if not more so, hateful than he is. What is more dangerous than an old bigot you ask? An old bigot who is less intelligent than his supervisors. There is something much more daunting about an old man who can not make decisions for himself.

Often the criticisms I see of Trump and his administration center around his personal intelligence, capability, and shortcomings. Very rarely do I see the same attacks on the people guiding him, supporting him, or enabling him. Although I think Trump is a vile human being, I think he is often a distraction. At the end of the day, Trump cannot pass legislation by himself, he cannot fight wars on his own, and he can't run this country into the ground by his lonesome (granted I believe he wishes he could). To be completely transparent I think the latter action has been happening for decades. I think we have made, as a country, some very very poor decisions that have led us here. Although I think we are seeing a cascade of events that have been placed like dominos by our democracy, my focus is on the current situation.

So where does that leave us? In wildfires that our president blames on poor use of controlled deforestation while simultaneously cutting funding to conservation programs? In the potential wake of empty and careless threats of nuclear warfare? In states with steadily deteriorating infrastructure and education? In hospitals that we cannot pay bills for because our healthcare has slowly been torn from us?

It is important to remember that there are, unfortunately, people with much worse intentions than Trump. There are people working every day to mold the country into what works best for them. We are so often distracted that we forget that one family holds 40% of the wealth in this country, that our economy is disenfranchising a large majority of us, and that innocent people are being killed every day. We are blind to the lives we are destroying in this country and others. We are so caught up in whatever Trump is doing we don't realize that there are systematic problems our representatives avoid fixing like solutions are a plague. I think that there are many things wrong with this country, far beyond nepotism and narcissism. One of them is our inability as a society to hold all folks accountable.

Trump is not an idiot. He is an entitled man who was born into wealth and fortune. He is a predatory man that has had to do little by himself for his entire existence. I think he is a puppet, being moved by much more malicious hands than his own.

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