1. Substitute teachers
Jake? Here!
Alli? Here!
Alex? Here!
Maddie? Here!
Other Maddie? Here!
Ummmmmm I don’t know how to pronounce this next name...? I’m here.
2. Starbucks
Don’t even try.
3. Repetition
“What’s your name?”
Nusaiba.
“What?”
Nusaiba.
“What was that?”
Nusaiba.
4. Giving up
“What?”
Nusaiba.
“What?”
Nusaiba.
*Pronounces it wrong*
Yeah, sure.
5. n-USA-iba
U-S-A!!!! U-S-A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. The new joke on the block
“Ohhh, your name is Nusaiba? Like New-saiba, not Old-saiba. HAHHAHAHAAhahhahhhahaha”
Yes, you’re very clever.
7. Definition
“What does Nusaiba mean?”
I think it means ‘noble’ in a different language.
“Oh, I thought it would be something cooler.”
Nope, I’m for sure not cool. Possibly noble though.
8. Being an actor
So I’ve done a lot of theatre and have taken my fair share of acting classes. A popular ice breaker exercise was to think of an adjective that starts with the same letter your name starts with, say both the adjective and your name when introducing yourself, and act out that adjective whilst doing so. For example, someone named Cassie could introduce themselves as “Classy Cassie” and curtsy to symbolize classy. Jack could say he is “Jumping Jack” and jump for his introduction. “N” is a bit tougher. What I’ve managed to come up with over the years have been “Narcissistic Nusaiba” (I’d hug myself), “Nothing Nusaiba” (I’d literally do nothing), or “New Nusaiba” (we’re not going back to that joke).
9. “Your name sounds like something from ‘The Lion King’”
Any relation made between me and Disney, I take as a high compliment.
10. Attempting to spell it
“Nusaiba, Nusiba, Nusyaeeba, Newsaiyebaw, Newzealand, Uzbekistan, Pakistan, India… OMG wait, are you from India?”
11. Time
It often saves time to just make up a different name and avoid some of the scenarios mentioned above. Things that could be done in the time it takes to correctly learn my name are: reciting the alphabet, reciting the alphabet backwards, vacuuming your house, writing an English paper, obtaining a PhD, or becoming of age to qualify for Medicare.
12. Avoiding mix-ups
I went to a school that was 99 percent white, so I was definitely the only Nusaiba and there was no need for my last name. But LOL, that’s a whole other article.
13. To quote the master
“What’s in a name?
That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet.”
-William Shakespeare
While this is among my favorite lines of Romeo and Juliet, and even though I totes agree with Shakey’s words right here, any other name would simply not be mine. :)
