When you are someone who suffers from mental illness you understand the daily struggle that is life. It is not easy to wake up and deal with yet another day of pain, exhaustion, and trying to have complete and utter control over how and when your tears fall from your eyes and down your cheeks. Depression and anxiety is a daily struggle for so many people, and the rest of society simply does not understand the difficulty we go through and stigmatizes us.

We are told constantly that the feelings we are having are fazes and it’ll go away so we should just suck it up and try to be happy. Well, hate to break it to you, it just isn’t that simple. There is a chemical imbalance in our brain. That doesn’t sound like a phase. That sounds like an actual medical issue that is over looked constantly. When you go to therapy, they recommend medication and being honest with them. But once you are, and you bring up thoughts of suicide, you could be on a very long trip to the hospital that you have no choice in the matter because you have put your therapist “in a difficult situation”.

Now we are in a parking garage on the phone with your insurance. They won’t cover you because you are out of state. You tell you therapist over the phone and she tells you that you no longer have a choice in the matter. Full panic mode: drowning in your own thoughts and tears and not being able to breath. Having your therapist on the phone screaming saying if you don’t go into the hospital willingly she is calling the police. Now, because you went for help, you were honest, and you cannot afford to go to a hospital where they do not take your insurance, I am being threatened with the police. Helpful for someone who is experiencing a panic attack and has so many thoughts running through her mind.

Now your therapist is on the phone crying to you. Telling you how much she paid for college and how she needs me to go in the hospital so that HER MENTAL HEALTH is ok. Are you serious? Now you’re talking her off the ledge. You. Her patient. Helping the person that is supposed to be helping you. “Ok, I’ll go in for the evaluation, but I’m going to go and tell them I’m going home and going to a hospital there for MY mental health.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much, you don’t know how much you have helped me just now.” Oh no you have some idea. You know that instead of her helping you, which you thought she was doing, you had to calm yourself down so you could take care of her. Well, you do what you said. You went in and got evaluated. They agreed that you should seek inpatient treatment. They also agreed you should do it back home. And the hospital apologized for you needing to help your therapist before going in and that she may have over dramatized a situation. The doctor agreed that you should finish finals and then go home to get the treatment that you need and have a relaxing break.