As the 2016 Olympic Games approach, I find myself reflecting on my time as a competitive gymnast quite frequently. I participated in gymnastics for ten years, through my senior year of high school. I unfortunately suffered an injury my senior year and had surgery this past May to finally correct the issue. I’m not going to lie and say it has been easy; the realization that I would never again be able to compete at the level I was before my injury was absolutely devastating. When I say gymnastics was my life, it is not an overstatement. I spent more time in the gym, between high school practice and club practice, than I did in my own house and more time in a leotard than I did in jeans and a t-shirt. Having such a huge part of my life suddenly gone was a major adjustment for me during my first year of college, but I always had a small hope of returning to the gym someday. Having surgery completely derailed that hope and watching the coverage of the Olympic Trials made it that much harder. I watch these girls who have worked so hard their whole lives achieving their dreams, knowing that I would never put a competition leotard on again. I wondered how the girls who didn’t make the Olympic team were dealing with that disappointment, knowing that the Olympics are the pinnacle of a gymnast’s career. I realized that as much as I would miss the sport and as much as I wished circumstances could be different, there are lessons that gymnastics has taught me and things it has given me that will not end just because my career did.

Gymnastics, I feel, has given me a very unique confidence. For ten years, I was able to stand up in front of a panel of judges and a gym full of spectators and try to show them that I was perfect, knowing full well that that is an impossible feat. Afterwards, I would go right back to the gym and try again. It taught me to be confident, sure. But it also taught me how to be humble in my confidence, knowing that everything is subjective and all you can do is try your absolute best.

My club team was a diverse group of people and I learned very quickly that not everyone is going to like you and you will not like everyone you come across, either. But that does not mean that you have the right to be rude. Everyone has the responsibility to be a decent human being, because you never know what personal battles another person is fighting.

I learned how to be a friend to my teammates, to support them when they needed it and help them smile through their tears. All you can do is try to help them from making the same mistakes that you have, and pick them up when they make mistakes of their own. I also learned how to deal with different types of people and how to become friends with them.

I, begrudgingly, learned to listen to my coaches. As much as I hate to admit it, they were always right. If there is one thing I wish I could tell the girls in the gym now, it is to trust what their coaches say, because they know what they are talking about and they honestly have your best interests at heart. My senior year was really difficult, battling my injury and trying to figure out what that meant for my gymnastics. But my coach never gave up on me. She was not afraid to challenge me and tell me that it was not going to be easy, but she also never let me give up. Even on days when I was positive she had gone insane and that I would not be able to finish my season, she never faltered. Now, our relationship remains strong and I still go to her for advice when it feels like everything is falling apart.

I think the most important, and most surprising, thing gymnastics has taught me is how to say goodbye. In my ten years in the sport, I have had ten different coaches and saw many different teammates come and go. One of my high school teammates and the captain of our team her senior year experienced a gymnast’s worst nightmare. At one of her last qualifying meets her final year of private club gymnastics, she tore her ACL and had extensive surgery to repair it. She was having an incredible season. She looked the best she ever had in the gym, our high school team had just won the state championship and she won the individual state title, which she had been chasing her entire high school career. She was going from cloud nine to the abyss, so suddenly having her whole life ripped out from under her. I was a junior at the time and she was not just a teammate to me, I idolized her. She was so talented and so strong, both physically and mentally and she was an incredible friend to me. I watched her go through it all and her positivity never wavered. It wasn’t a goodbye for her. She just knew that even though this wasn’t the dream she had planned; it might just become something better. She knew that she had learned all that she could from her experience as a gymnast and it was time to move on to other experiences to learn new things.

Saying goodbye to gymnastics will not be easy, no goodbyes ever are. Maybe there are ways that I can keep it in my life, if I decide to coach or judge in the future. But I know now that when I look back at my time as a gymnast, it will not be with a heavy heart. I know that I will look back at my memories fondly and that I will always cherish them. I know that I experienced gymnastics to its fullest and that it has helped to make me who I am. I am ready to make new memories and experience new things. “Don't lose faith in your life's story just because something may have changed and you don't like this chapter. You still have a whole book to come.” –Unknown