If you’ve ever done a favor for someone, and one of your friends proclaimed, “You’re too nice, I would’ve just said no,” then this one’s for you. You have a tough time saying no when asked for something. You’ll basically drop what you’re doing to help someone in need. But is there really such a thing as being “too nice?”

I don’t think so. Just because you’re nice, that doesn’t mean you’re oblivious. Being a caring person makes you even more aware of what’s going on around you. You’re always there to listen and lend a hand, because it’s simply who you are. You know what your friends are going through and what they need to feel better. And, when you do a favor for someone, you don’t expect it to be returned, but you might wonder whether or not the person you’re helping out would do the same thing for you. You definitely learn about the character of those around you when you’re concerned for others.

Maybe you’ve had your feelings hurt a time or two. Maybe you’ve come to the realization you’re doing a lot for someone who you wouldn’t do the same for you, but never let it change who you are. You have a kind heart because that represents who you are, not because you want something in return. Eventually, that person may come around and see how great you are, and if not, there’s no need to be upset! You’re just being you the best way you know how, and not everyone deserves to be in your life.

Even though you’re nice, you’re still strong. You can be nice and still know what’s best for you. You’re not mean if you don’t do someone a favor. It may even be best for them, because we all have to learn to be independent sometimes. You can’t always hurt yourself just to help others feel better, even though you probably have. You’ve probably given someone one too many chances and learned your lesson the hard way; it’s in your nature to be nice, and you couldn’t imagine yourself any other way. But, over time, you’ve learned that not everyone has each other’s best interest at heart, and those aren’t the people you want in your life anyway.

Being nice is a learning process. You learn to develop your boundaries, and that sometimes, you just have to say no. You learn that you can’t help everyone, because you have to help yourself too, and that sometimes it’s best to let toxic people go. You’ll continue to go above and beyond for your friends and loved ones, because you know what it’s like to be sad too. You’ll grieve with them, celebrate with them, and above all, do everything you can to help them be happy, because you know they deserve it. It’s who you are, and people who are “too nice” are stronger than you’ll ever know.