Even LGBTQ+ Labels Can Be Super Frustrating At Times

Even LGBTQ+ Labels Can Be Super Frustrating At Times

You do not need labels to feel loved.

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Lesbian, gay, female, male, intersex, bisexual, queer, transgender… these are just a few labels that are used in the LGBTQ+ community. Human nature is to instantly categorize people into specific boxes. Whether people like it or not, they will inevitably be categorized based on their job title, income, race, gender, sexuality, or religion.

These labels can often be frustrating because society is constantly the forest with a thousand eyes. You will always have someone judging you simply because you look or act in a different way than them. It is truly terrifying to see how opinionated people can be and disheartening to feel the weight of shaming and judgment on your shoulders.

If I had to put a "label" on myself I would identify as a cis female who is bisexual. Now just because I identify as bisexual does not mean that I like both genders 50/50, I actually have a preference towards cis bisexual, pansexual or lesbian women. A lot of the time I would prefer not to put a label on myself, but I feel like I have to in order for the straight community to comprehend the way I feel.

The most common questions I receive are "how do you know you are gay?" and "are you a lesbian now because you're with a girl?" When these questions are asked it is more cringe-worthy than nails on a chalkboard for me. My response back to both of these question is "I just know who I am, do I really need to have to label myself, can't I just love freely without judgment?"

There have been several times this year where I felt like I could have changed my label from bisexual to lesbian in order to avoid receiving hateful comments from both the straight and LGBTQ+ communities. It would have been so much easier to explain that I like girls instead of explaining that I have a slight attraction to cis males also. For me personally, I am not a huge fan of the word "lesbian" simply because I do not label myself as one. I do however prefer the terms "gay" and/or "bisexual" because I feel like the term sounds less sexualized to the straight community.

Regardless of who you are. You have the freedom to label (or not label) yourself to the world as much as you want. You are still a human with a beating heart in your chest and a brain full of knowledge. Remember that as much as people would like to try to understand, there is no right way to share with others how you feel towards your significant other. Love is something that is felt deep within the heart, you don't have to share that with anyone but your lover.

I cannot wait until the day where we can simply introduce ourselves by name and not have to worry about all of the labels that come attached to us. We are not anyone's property; we should not have to fit into a certain category in order to feel accepted by others. If you are feeling even an ounce of unacceptance or judgment from those around you, you are in a toxic environment and need to leave. Find people who are going to love you for you and look past your labels. Find the ones who are going to love you regardless and not judge those parts of you. Be a part of the community that loves freely and will treat you like family. Never let these people go.

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I'm The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

You raise your protest picket signs and I’ll raise my white picket fence.
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Social Media feeds are constantly filled with quotes on women's rights, protests with mobs of women, and an array of cleverly worded picket signs.

Good for them, standing up for their beliefs and opinions. Will I be joining my tight-knit family of the same gender?

Nope, no thank you.

Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be oblivious to my history and the advancements that women have fought to achieve. I am aware that the strides made by many women before me have provided us with voting rights, a voice, equality, and equal pay in the workforce.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Who Would Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

For that, I am deeply thankful. But at this day in age, I know more female managers in the workforce than male. I know more women in business than men. I know more female students in STEM programs than male students. So what’s with all the hype? We are girl bosses, we can run the world, we don’t need to fight the system anymore.

Please stop.

Because it is insulting to the rest of us girls who are okay with being homemakers, wives, or stay-at-home moms. It's dividing our sisterhood, and it needs to stop.

All these protests and strong statements make us feel like now we HAVE to obtain a power position in our career. It's our rightful duty to our sisters. And if we do not, we are a disappointment to the gender and it makes us look weak.

Weak to the point where I feel ashamed to say to a friend “I want to be a stay at home mom someday.” Then have them look at me like I must have been brain-washed by a man because that can be the only explanation. I'm tired of feeling belittled for being a traditionalist.

Why?

Because why should I feel bad for wanting to create a comfortable home for my future family, cooking for my husband, being a soccer mom, keeping my house tidy? Because honestly, I cannot wait.

I will have no problem taking my future husband’s last name, and following his lead.

The Bible appoints men to be the head of a family, and for wives to submit to their husbands. (This can be interpreted in so many ways, so don't get your panties in a bunch at the word “submit”). God specifically made women to be gentle and caring, and we should not be afraid to embrace that. God created men to be leaders with the strength to carry the weight of a family.

However, in no way does this mean that the roles cannot be flipped. If you want to take on the responsibility, by all means, you go girl. But for me personally? I'm sensitive, I cry during horror movies, I'm afraid of basements and dark rooms. I, in no way, am strong enough to take on the tasks that men have been appointed to. And I'm okay with that.

So please, let me look forward to baking cookies for bake sales and driving a mom car.

And I'll support you in your endeavors and climb to the top of the corporate ladder. It doesn't matter what side you are on as long as we support each other, because we all need some girl power.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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The Gillette Controversy: Should Companies Share Their Views?

"We Believe: The Best Men Can Be" by Gillette is about creating a conversation, whether you agree with the commercial or not.

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We Believe: The Best Men Can Be | Gillette (Short Film) www.youtube.com

January 13, 2019, Gillette released a commercial that takes a new focus on their tagline "The Best a Man Can Get." The commercial weighs in on the Me Too movement and showcases different moments of toxic masculinity.

These moments include boys bullying another boy through cyberbullying, two young boys beating each other up while fathers are watching them saying that "boys will be boys", a set of a 1950s sitcom where a man grabs his maids butt to which the audience is encouraged to applause and laugh at his act, and a businessman laughing at his female colleague's statement and then says to the other male colleagues, "What I actually think she means…"

A voiceover in the ad says, "Is this the best a man can get? Is it? We can't hide from it, it's been going on far too long. We can't laugh it off, making the same old excuses. But something finally changed [implying the Me Too movement and people speaking up], and there will be no going back..."

The commercial then shifts to showing a man stepping in when another man tells a woman to smile, when a man stops another man from following a woman down the street, and video clips of men stopping fights and having two boys shake hands, as well as a father encouraging his daughter to say she is strong. There is also a moment when a father from the "boys will be boys" scene tells those kids fighting, "This is not how we treat each other."

The voiceover continues with "...Because we…We believe in the best in men. To say the right thing. To act the right way. Some already are, in ways big and small. But 'some' is not enough. Because the boys watching today will be the men of tomorrow."

This commercial sparked controversy with people saying that not all men show toxic masculinity, many people saying that this commercial is anti-male, and people saying they will now boycott Gillette and their partner company. Whereas others are praising the commercial with many saying that, if you're offended by this commercial, then that is why it was made.

But regardless of what you think of the commercial as a whole, the big topic of discussion is whether or not it is okay if companies should be political and put their two cents in through marketing.

I say yes.

I believe it is very okay for companies to express their thoughts and concerns about political and social issues through marketing. When the Me Too movement first came into the light, many people wanted Hollywood to stay out of politics/social issues. The public did not want to hear about the sexual harassment allegations throughout Hollywood, however, because of these celebrities bringing light to this issue more and more people, celebrity or not, are coming forward and speaking their truths.

More and more people are realizing the signs of harassment and speaking up before it can get worse. Society is more aware of these social issues because people with a platform are talking about it. Unfortunately, many people still do not want to listen to people with platforms, but having the conversation is important, so how else can we keep the conversation going?

That is where commercial and other forms of advertisements can come in. The commercial did exactly what it intended to do: to create a conversation. Talk shows like "The View" or "The Talk" are talking about, news outlets are talking about it, people on YouTube are talking about it, and here I am writing an Odyssey article related to the topic.

The commercial created conversation. It got people thinking about and discussing their concerns, their feelings about the idea of toxic masculinity, as well as how this commercial could or could not be the new wave of change. It is important to have conversations, as it is the only way for things to change and for people to see that how things used to be are not the way they should be now.

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