I like to write down funny things I hear people say.
Not everything, but the phrases that tend to stick with me. I compile them into a list in a document on my laptop, and add to it when I hear something hilarious. It always proves to be an entertaining read through when I'm having a bad day.
If you need something to lift your spirits, here are some, but not all, of the silly sayings people have either said to me or that I have heard. Enjoy!
"You got a wild side to you. You're a wild child, aren't you Ms. Bolton?" - One of my high school teachers, after I chose the 60s as the decade I'd want to live in (between the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s).
"So, were we supposed to be high while watching that?" - One of my high school teachers, after my friend and I showed a weird video during our presentation on 60's counterculture.
"I wrote… uh… um… well, actually I didn't write anything." - A classmate, when the teacher asked him what he wrote down as the definition for a vocabulary term.
"If I wanted to listen to an a**hole, I would've farted." - My friend's dad.
"Can you find my phone? Mom took pictures of my butt on it." - My sister.
"Oh my gosh there's teeth inside my mouth!" - My friend, after doing a face swap on Snapchat.
"Your backpack makes you look like Koopa Troopa." - My friend, about my bright red backpack.
"When Chris takes his shirt off, the ladies panties be flying." - A co-worker my sister had years ago.
"I still need a political cartoon for Mr. Government's class." - My friend, accidentally mashing up the name of the class with the teacher's name.
"So Kristina, tell me more about how you're single." - My friend, when we were following a cute guy around in a store.
"Oh that guy? He doesn't like me. I accidentally flipped him off one time." - A classmate, when I pointed out to her a guy I liked at school.
"This is not what my brand is about!" - My sister, about something random.
"The 50s was a great time if you were a white male." - One of my high school teachers.
"My shirt said something about the 80s. I'm such a disappointment." - My sister, looking at an old picture of herself.
"Your chest looks like a butt." - My sister, after I showed her my prom pictures.
"She's like, 'I'm so sweet. Just wait until I fart.'" - My sister, talking about me.
