There's a term I bet you have never heard of before: Enlightened Sexism. Anything come to mind? If not, don't sweat it. I hadn't come across the term until a few weeks ago. As I flipped through my Women Gender Studies textbook, trying to find an article to write my report on, I came across an essay written by Susan Douglas who first coined the term "enlightened sexism." So, what could it mean?

"Under the guise of escapism and pleasure, we are getting images of imagined power that mask, and even erase, how much still remains to be done for girls and women, images that make sexism seem fine, even fun, and insist that feminism is now utterly pointless, even bad for you," Douglas writes in her 2010 book Enlightened Sexism: The Seductive Message that Feminism's Work Is Done.

This phrase hits the nail on the head. As I'm reading it, I can't help but grow sheepish. Enlightened sexism is what I, and so many other women I know, have fallen victim to. I can say shamelessly that enlightened sexism has dominated my entire life as a 20-something college student, and you will come to find it's played a part in yours as well.

Enlightened sexism exposes the underlying patriarchal culture that dominates our media every single day. Pop culture tries to sell us on an image of successful, dominant women in positions of power. However, all of these women in power have their makeup applied perfectly, their clothes styled perfectly, and have submissive, attractive males practically panting at their feet. We've been sold an image of successful women in America that simply does not exist.

Susan Douglas provided a perfect example: the cast of Sex and the City. My face blushes again reading the essay, as this is one of my favorite shows. But take a look at the women characters who star in it: successful, fabulous, perfectly groomed women by day, sex kittens for their partners by night. Who can deny that they don't adore Carrie Bradshaw? Her professional career controlled by hers truly, Louboutin heels lining her closet, and her lover "Mr. Big" knocking on her door by nightfall. But what else should we adore about Carrie? She is fake. She's a fictional character. And real women cannot measure up to this perfect image of the working woman who seems to "have it all."

So why is this a problem? Why can't women have it all? What's wrong with our media displaying women in power like this? OK, yes, you have a point. We have come a long way from where women's liberation used to be. But... on the other hand, this successful woman who "has it all" is still making 78 cents for every man's earned dollar. For the same job. For the same hours.

"They assure girls and women, repeatedly, that women's liberation is a fait accompli and that we are stronger, more successful, more sexually in control, more fearless and more held in awe than we actually are," Douglas writes. It's easy for us to believe that feminism is pointless when we have all been in a trance, allowing our TV screens to spoon feed us dazzling stars such as Samantha on Sex and the City, Dr. Grey on Grey's Anatomy or Kylie Jenner with her growing brand, and growing amount of makeup on her skin.

It's like the female population is a kitten and the media is the owner distracting us with a toy. Nevermind the enormous work we still have ahead of us in the women's movement. It also twists our idea of success into being based on appearance. Many of you will read this in disgust and think "I got to where I am today without the use of my body, thank you very much!" But hear me out. How many of you can truly say, that you have never looked to the media as a reference for your appearance? How many of you can say you've cut all ties of its influence on you? And dear god, how many of you bought a Kylie Jenner Lip Kit?

"While they are the 'girl power' generation, the bill of goods they are repeatedly sold is that true power comes from shopping, having the right logos, and being 'hot,'" Douglas continues. "Power also comes from judging, dissing, and competing with other girls, especially over guys." Have you reassessed your entire life yet? I know I have. I see this behavior every single day. I see it when I show up to class, practically running through the door to be on time because I spent the last few minutes going over my homework. And then I see almost every girl looking perky, with glossy, straight hair and an airbrushed face. Then there's little ol' me, with my glasses on and thick, frizzy hair up in a bun with a head wrap. But the kicker is, on my way to class I said to myself "I should have taken time to cover up my dark circles." We all fall victim to it, whether we want to believe it or not.

I've noticed a sort of power trip that comes from judging other females as well. We like to pretend that we boost each other up. It only takes us a second to write "SLAYYYYY" in a comment under your friend's new Instagram selfie. But then you catch wind of her and your ex hanging out. Well, there goes that boost. Might as well snatch the chair you raised her up on right from under her, because now that you've involved something that threatens your ego, you can no longer support that female. So please, enlighten me, how will we continue forward with women's liberation if we cannot even continue forward with respect and love for each other? We're women for crying out loud, not much in this world has respect or love for us.

While I finished reading the essay, I silently thanked Susan Douglas for bringing so much real enlightenment into my life. I realized how many people I know need to read her book. Our knowledge does not decrease from being shared, and neither does our happiness. I think if we, as women, can keep that in mind then our forward march on liberation can pick up speed, and finally take off for good. But for now, I won't be giving in to the image of successful women on the new hit series being televised, until I know that the character is finally making the exact same wage as her male colleagues.