I recently read an article titled, "College Is Not An Excuse To Lose Your Self-Respect," and while I agree with a few of the points made, the article as a whole, from the word choice to the general tone, angered me.
If you choose to go out and party on a Thursday night, doesn't mean that you have no self-respect.
If you choose to make out with a random guy at said party, doesn't mean that you have no self-respect.
If you end up throwing up in the garbage can of your dorm room later that night, still doesn't mean that you have no self-respect. Maybe you got a little carried away with the drinking, but that doesn't mean that you don't respect yourself.
This article had a "holier than thou" approach to it, despite the author multiple times saying that she's, "been there, done that." Who cares if you choose to go out and party on a weeknight? I know many people that do that and still manage to attend all their classes on time and keep up with the work. Parties can be fun, not everyone goes out and drinks all night, but some people do. That doesn't mean that they don't have any self-respect. Self-respect (the key word being self) isn't up to you to decide for anyone else. You don't think it'd be respectable of yourself to be out all night drinking? Fine. But don't go passing judgment on everyone else that doesn't share that same opinion.
I think my biggest issue with this article isn't that the author is judging everyone that parties hard, but that she says, "And don't think for a second that this is only a problem based around girls. Boys need it almost more. Because they're taught their whole life that boys will be boys. And that they can just ride the wave of a double-standard for the majority of college," and then goes on to help perpetuate that double standard by continuing to blame girls for boys' actions.
"What is a boy with a mind shaped from social media and society, supposed to call a girl who throws herself at every guy every weekend, throws up all over at every party, and her clothes are half off her body by the end of the night, every time?"
If this is not the epitome of the, "she was asking for it" rape culture mentality, then I don't know what is. But according to the author, she wasn't slut shaming, she was just, "raising awareness to the girls that wonder why they don't attract the decent boys." No one honestly goes out to party with the intentions of trying to seriously date someone that they meet. So who cares if a girl is "throwing herself at every guy?" That's her choice. Who cares if her clothes are half off her body? If that's what she's comfortable with, then so be it. Professionalism (which is the only semi-valid argument that the author proposed) doesn't matter when you're out partying.
If I read this a year ago, or even three months ago, I don't think I would've had the same reaction. In fact, I might have even agreed with the article. But now that I'm a part of the party culture, I think this was wrong. Just because a girl is making out with a random guy or dancing on someone, doesn't mean she doesn't have self-respect. Hell, it doesn't even mean she's drunk. I've done it myself sober.
Parties are supposed to be for letting loose and having fun. They're space for people to let go of their inhibitions and be carefree. The social anxieties go away because you know no one is judging you due to the alcohol flowing through the room. I personally think it takes more self-respect to party than not to party because you have to be totally respectful of yourself and confident in who you are to be able to go into a room full (or mostly full) of strangers and not hold back and be yourself.
If you don't like to party, it's okay, there's plenty to do that's not party related. And if you do like to party, good for you. Take a drink or two and dance the night away, you deserve it.
