College Is Not An Excuse To Lose Your Self-Respect

College Is Not An Excuse To Lose Your Self-Respect

Trashy is not trendy.

It's Thursday night. You're waiting to get into the bar and you take in the scenery around you. There's a girl bent forward into a trash can emptying the contents of her stomach, while her friend is across the street squatting next to a bush with her skirt around her ankles. There's a boy flailing his body around yelling at the bouncer through slurred words, while his other friend shoves his tongue down some equally trashed girl's throat. And let me tell you something, we've all been there, I've been there. But there are people that are there every. single. weekend. And I'm not trying to belittle you or judge you if you are "that girl" or "that guy", but instead maybe open a few eyes on the importance of keeping a sound self-respect, especially in college.

Everyone wants respect but not everyone respects themselves. And it is so evident in the actions of so many college kids around me honestly it's overwhelming. We are so close to adulthood, barely toes deep in it, but we are, for all intensive purposes, adults. We enter college at the legal age of 18 years old. And we quickly realize as that girl from our English class is getting handcuffed to the side of a cop car, that we aren't minors anymore and our actions have repercussions. And we see her the next week showing her mugshot to all her friends and laughing it off, but that is embarrassing. You lost control. You showed everyone that you find it funny to vomit all over the dance floor and argue with a cop. But do you ever stop to think that one day you're probably going to have a daughter that might act the exact same way if you don't start respecting yourself? Because you can't teach true self-respect if you don't have any. And don't think for a second that this is only a problem based around girls. Boys need it almost more. Because they're taught their whole life that boys will be boys. And that they can just ride the wave of a double-standard for the majority of college, while calling girls derogatory names when they've probably slept with more people than she has.

But here is where the issue lies. What is a boy with a mind shaped from social media and society, supposed to call a girl who throws herself at every guy every weekend, throws up all over at every party, and her clothes are half off her body by the end of the night, every time. Certainly not a grown woman. Because grown woman do not act like that. Does your grandmother? Does your mother? They are grown. And this is not me slut-shaming. This is me raising awareness to the girls that wonder why they don't attract the decent boys. Respect yourself. You are a woman. And you're working towards being grown. And it is hard sometimes in a place like college to not over do it every once in a while. But respect yourself enough to know that you don't want people to have to walk over you when you're passed out on the floor. Because let me tell you something, boys notice when you have self-respect. They love a girl with confidence and a girl that knows she's worth it. But here is where boys need to understand something. Just because a girl is wearing a low cut shirt or a tight dress does not mean you have the right to her body just because she is showing it off. Would you want some 20-year-old scrub pawing at your little sister just because you could see her cleavage? Guess what, cleavage is often inevitable and its not a turn on for you to ask to do a "boob luge" off of me because I "wouldn't wear that shirt if I didn't want you to." Understand that we're all somebody's daughter and sister just the same as you are somebody's son and brother. If you wouldn't want someone treating your loved one that way, don't treat someone else's like that.

And this all comes full circle when you respect yourself. Because when you respect yourself you are more open to the respect of others. She's face down on the couch and your friend tells you to go hit that? You're better than that, go find the girl that managed to stay upright throughout the night. Your friend tells you to write "Rush __ Fraternity" on your bare chest with your smiling face in it? If you're not prepared for your grandfather or boss to see that, take a hard pass on that one. It's not trendy to be trashy, no matter what anyone tells you, you will always be able to have fun while remaining true to your standards and respecting yourself.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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To All Those Who Hurt Me Before My College Years, Thank You

This is my open letter to all those people who make up some of the horrible memories that I have.

For a lot of you out there, you may have had a similar experience to me in your pre-college years. There are a select few moments that stick with you for the rest of your life. There were some words that will never really leave me alone and there are some vague memories that haunt me. Now let me clarify, I was not bullied, but I did have some bad moments. This is my open letter to all those people who make up some of the horrible memories that I have.

One of the first memories that pop into my mind is of junior high.

Some of you may remember that stupid game where you would write someone's name on a person's palm and a time of their knuckles. If the person looked at their palm before the time then they had to ask that person out. Well, most people put someone they thought was weird or ugly. I had it happen to me twice and at the time, it was the worse feeling in the world.

Feeling like everyone saw me that way and I know did not dress that great or look that great, but I still think to this day that's how everyone sees me.

So thanks, because you may not know it but that memory has stayed with me even now.

I had other similar experiences throughout my school years of people making fun of me in passing or comparing me to my twin. I got a lot of "my sister's the pretty, cool, fun one." It is so hurtful and no one thought anything of it. So thanks to all of those people who decided that I was the lesser one. Not like I didn't already know that, or wish every day that I would wake up and magically be more pretty, cool and fun.

The worst one though is the kid from my drama class in high school because now that is the first memory I have when thinking about high school. There were two Megans in my class. I and another kid mutually did not like one another. Well, he decided how to differentiate between us I would be the "ugly Megan."

The worst part was that my best friend at the time didn't think anything of it.

She said well you two don't get along and kind of laughed it off. It was a joke. Well, thanks because now when I look at myself I still hear "the ugly Megan." So thanks to the kid who thought it was a good joke.

Four years of water polo, wonderful friends but I remember "ugly Megan" first.

There are so many more moments, but I just want to say thanks because now I am slowly getting over all of that. A lot of the kids that did those things probably have never thought anything of it. It sucks you did those things but you know what thank you. Thank you for shaping me into the marvelous person I am today. I hope if your reading this you learn just how much those so-called jokes can hurt.

Cover Image Credit: Luca Iaconelli

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50 Worst Things About Being A Bartender

Why Customers Suck

Bartending is an amazing job for a poor college student. It is quick, easy money that usually does not take all that much effort. But then there are nights that make you want to slap every customer and then go cry in the bathroom. Here are the top 50 worst things about being a bartender:

1. People waving money in your face/snapping at you/slapping the bar. Do not do any of these things or I will make it a personal mission to ignore you until you give up and leave, or apologize for your rudeness.

2. Dealing with stupidly incoherent people. Know your limits, folks! Chances are, if you can’t even say the name of your drink properly, it’s time to cut yourself off!

3. Tip stealers. Yes- I notice. It is especially irksome when you try to pay for your drink with MY STOLEN TIP MONEY.

4. Reaching over the bar at me. It’s a BAR. As in, you are BARRED from crossing it. Do not touch me, do not touch my stuff, just stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine. Everyone wins.

5. Taking 10 years to order. If it’s a busy night and you are standing there huffing and puffing waiting for a drink, have your order ready! It saves us both so much time.

6. Adding a bunch of things to your order after I start fetching the ingredients. If I walk back twice after your original order, I’ll tell you I’ll come back when you’ve got it all figured out.

7. People who don’t tip. I make $7.50 an hour. The whole point of getting less than minimum wage is because it is supposed to be made up with tips. I’ll give you three chances to literally give me $1 for serving you. If on the third time you don’t tip me, I am not serving you again.

8. Asking for “that one drink I had at this one bar one time” as if I am going to magically read your mind and figure out what the drink was and what was in it. Just get a vodka cran and be done with it

9. “Make it strong” he says as he gives me a little wink. No. I’m charging you double for a double. Don’t expect more alcohol for the same price as a single

10. Repeatedly asking for water when I am insanely busy. I have no issues giving people water, but if I don’t even have time to take a sip of my own water, do not bother asking.

11. Expecting free drinks if you are friends with me. This is my JOB. I do not own the bar, I do not supply the alcohol I serve, and I will get fired for giving away alcohol for free. You wouldn’t show up at TJMaxx and expect your cart load of shit to be free if your friend worked there. Don’t expect the same from your bartender.

12. People staying after the bar closes. The longer you stay, the longer I have to wait to go home and sleep. I just worked nonstop for 4+ hours. Get the hell out so I can close the bar.

13. Barbacks that don’t do their job. If I have to wash my own dishes, fetch my own alcohol if I run out, and take time from serving to clean up the bar, don’t expect me to tip you out. I just did your job for you while you stood around flirting with girls.

14. I’m not your damn therapist. Don’t sit there and gripe about the guy/girl that “totally fucked you over” I. Don’t. Give. A. Shit.

15. I might not remember your name, but I will always remember your tip. I remember the faces of people that tip well and chances of me prioritizing you when it gets really busy go up exponentially if you’re a generous tipper.

16. Standing in front of the nightly specials list and asking me what the specials are. I promise you I will not list them off to you. I will point to the sign, and move on to the next customer.

17. Asking me to hold your shit or to charge your phone. Since when do I look like your babysitter? I have enough things to keep track of without watching all of your belongings, too. Your phone is dead? That sucks. Walk to the convenience store and buy a charger.

18. Don’t try and haggle the prices. They are set the way they are because that is how the bar makes a profit. If I say $6, don’t try and give me $4. Or I will have you kicked out

19. Do not grab fruit out of the fruit tray and eat it. If you’re hungry, go to the 20 places that are open until 4 AM and get a pizza like everyone else.

20. Don’t try and teach me how to do my job. I have had three different bartending jobs for two years now. If you have a different request for your drink, then politely ask instead of bitching that I didn’t make it correctly.

21. If I cut you off, it is for a reason. Do not try and argue with me. You are either stupidly incoherent, being incredibly rude, or it is almost closing time and I’m trying to clean up the bar. If you argued with me, I will have you kicked out.

22. Have your money out and ready to pay by the time I get back with your drink. If I have to sit there and wait for you to fumble around with your wallet and count out money, I am going to be pissed because chances are there are 50 people behind you waiting to be served.

23. Being offended if I don’t remember your drink order. There are 300 people in the bar, and just about 300 different drinks. If you are pissy that I don’t remember you or your drink, go to a less crowded bar.

24. Getting angry for me asking for your ID. “But the bouncer checked it” I don’t care. Bouncers make mistakes and are more likely to make a mistake if you have boobs. You look like you are 15 years old. Give me your ID or get out.

25. Do not interrupt me if I am serving another customer. Just don’t do it. I will ignore you. And I will not serve you.

26. Don’t complain if you order a beer or liquor that we don’t serve, never have served, and never will serve. There are thousands of beers and liquors. Pick another one that we have.

27. Trying to order drinks when I am cleaning empty cups and spilled drinks off the bar. If you want to lean on the bar and be sticky for the rest of the night, be my guest. But if not, shut up and let me clean.

28. Don’t ask for a fruit wedge if you are just going to put it on the edge of your cup like a decoration and not use it. Squeeze the juice out into your drink or get the hell out of my face.

29. Asking for a “double Long Island iced tea”. Are you kidding? There is already a ridiculous amount of alcohol in that drink. Asking me for a double is a great way for me to make you the exact same thing as always and just charge you double for it.

30. Using an outdated name for a basic drink. Unless you’re 50+ years old, if you call a “vodka cran” a “cape cod” you just made yourself look like a pretentious asshole.

31. Ordering a drink without actually knowing what it is, and then complaining that you don’t like it. Here’s a tip- don’t order drinks you don’t know the ingredients to!

32. Sending your drink back. Unless you ordered a vodka cran and I gave you a vodka red bull, don’t send your drink back.

33. Drunkenly ask if we are hiring. I just watched you down 6 shots of tequila, make out with four different guys in a half an hour, and puke on the floor/in a garbage can. No. Even if we are hiring, we are definitely not hiring you.

34. Speaking of making out- GET A ROOM. If you are so desperate for intimate touching that you will do it in a full crowd of people, leave. No one wants to watch you suck face.

35. Call a damn cab. If you try to drive home after I watched you drink double vodka red bulls all night, I will not serve you the next time you come in. You are the worst kind of person.

36. Don’t walk away after you order your drink. If you’re not there to pay when I get back with your drinks, I’m tossing them and moving on to the next customer.

37. Forget about hitting on me to get more alcohol. This is just my situation specifically, but my boyfriend is the head bouncer and he will throw you out if I ask him to.

38. Don’t make me pick your drink for you if it’s busy. Know what you want and don’t waste my time.

39. If you leave a giant mess when you leave, I’ll remember you. And I’ll make you clean it up while I stand there and watch.

40. Don’t throw up on the bar. I don’t care how drunk you are, do it far away from the place I make everyone’s drinks. Not only is that absolutely disgusting, but now I have to smell it while I wait for a bouncer to come clean it up. Also, you’ll be kicked out.

41. If you “help yourself” and get your own refill from the drafts right on the bar, I’ll have you kicked out for stealing.

42. Pleading for drinks after we close is not cute. Not only is it illegal for me to serve after 2 AM, it’s annoying for you to even ask. I already put the toppers on every liquor bottle and took out the trash. I am not serving you.

43. Ordering “a beer” when we have more than 25 options. Tell me what beer or get out of the way.

44. Don’t sit there all night and stare at me like you are undressing me. You will be asked to leave for making my place of employment extremely uncomfortable for me.

45. Please. Please. Please. Don’t order 10+ mixed shots. Not only is it really time consuming, but I know for a fact you are only going to give me $1-$3 even though it just took me 10 minutes to do that and I could have made $15 on six other customers.

46. Leaving for a ton of smoke breaks and expecting me to watching your drink for you every time. Again, I’m not your babysitter.

47. Don’t ask me to take your picture. Do I look like a damn photographer?

48. Acting like my best friend when I just met you. Don’t touch me, and don’t expect special treatment.

49. Asking for the TV remote. HA. We’re not changing the channel.

50. Just don’t be a dick. The lesson you can take from all of these terrible customers is to be polite, and don’t make my job harder than it already is. You won’t get the best service, or the best drinks. Have some common courtesy and remember the manners you learned as a child.

Cover Image Credit: Courtesy of Tír na nÓg

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