This is not relatable to a lot of people, especially the ones who get handed everything easily. But, have you ever wondered what it would feel like to have a huge bullet coming through your life, like the one from "Mario Brothers?" Let me tell you, it is scary.

By that "huge bullet," I am talking about life and reality. By that, I mean having to adult and grow up.

All of this time, I have been relying on my dad to help me pay for community college and other necessities like gas, food. etc. I mean I do have a job, but it is part-time and I am a shopaholic who has been spoiled a lot. Sometimes it feels like my dad always has my back. Well not to be too brutal on myself or negative, but he will not be there all the time to support me. I mean oh gosh, I can't even pay for my own gas and food?

I just don't know when I will ever learn to become responsible and learn how to handle all of my stressors properly. It frustrates me and suffering with anxiety and depression at the same time makes it 10 times worse because I don't have the motivation to take care of all my stressors, but then my anxiety makes me feel guilty and pressures me to, so then I am just going sideways instead of forward. It is crazy.

So now that the end of the semester is coming, I am all stressed trying to maintain those A's, trying to hang with friends, working, and doing school activities. Mostly, all of this is for transferring to a university to pursue my dreams because we all have our goals and dreams, right?

So, I am trying to work my butt of and on top of that, I hear even more bad news.

My dad came up to me and was very blunt, which was very nice of him instead of lying to me. He straight-up told me that if I do not get a full scholarship or good financial aid for my school for the next two other years, then I may be done with my career/education.

So I lost it because come on, what is an Associate in Arts going to get me? I am a psych major and I want to help others like me but I can't do it if I cannot go to school. I want to live that "American Dream," I want to have a job I enjoy and have a nice future ahead of me but the only factor that stops it is money. Of course, money.

I realized that this is reality and I will not get handed anything easily so that is the worst part because now I have to work extra hard while having panic attacks every five minutes due to homework because it gets so stressful. It's a constant battle and I just don't have any motivation.

It is driving me crazy, but I was in shock and I have been babied all the way through community college, so I just don't know how to work hard in order to earn something.

I am still at the process of learning, but let me just say that bullet was really big and I have been dodging it all of my life until now. It finally approached me and I have been struct. I think I just might go crazy, but at the end of the day, hard work pays off, even if I look half asleep every day.