Being 20 year old I have been in EMS for 4+ years. However, I know that I don't know everything there is to know. People always wonder why EMS is important or why they are praised or questioned about the differences that they make.

First, I joined EMS due to the impact that it had on my life. After watching my mom take multiple rides in an ambulance growing up, I realized that they were one of the unsung heroes of the community. That being said, I claim to be no hero. I joined EMS because they made a difference for me. They held my hand as a scared child and helped the only consistent person I had growing up. When I joined EMS, I was 16 and in my senior year of high school. I didn't know what I was getting into. I honestly thought checking vitals would be the only thing that I would do.

For the first year, I checked vitals and watched as experienced providers cared for the patients. I took a back seat and watched. I didn't know if I would ever make a difference. Then I became the experienced provider and my perspective changed. Being a big city and going to paramedic school has been challenging and a blessing at the same time. I have critical calls now that I am a paramedic that I did not get when I was a probationary member. I learned under some of the best and gifted providers prior to testing my paramedic. I was questioned on every medication multiple times and ran 24-hour shifts to keep my volunteer commitment. I had joy, pain, and days where I couldn't stand up. I found EMS

I found that EMS just like everything else had it's ups and downs and I didn't want to miss out on the difference that I could make on every call. As a paramedic I've learned a lesson, you don't win them all but the ones that you do make it all that more important to be in EMS.

I've held the hand of the little old lady who just kissed her husband's cold dead forehand. I've watched many babies take their first breath.I recently had a call for a baby not breathing making my heart sink to my stomach. I watched the baby turn from blue to pink with a renewed heartbeat in my chest. I've watched a heart start beating after 20 minutes of CPR. I've watched a heart flat line after CPR ceased. I've held the hand of a scared woman who didn't remember her name from dementia with a weak pulse and low Blood Pressure. I've come home after a good day and celebrated with my family. I've come home after a hard day and wished I could hold my niece and nephews tight and just cried.

We don't win them all and the ones we lose are hard. We fight like crazy to save the lives that are circling the drain with no expectations other than the expectation that we do our job. We lose a lot and suffer a lot more. We question if we could have done things differently? Did I do something wrong? Where? Why did this happen? After the calls that are hard that we actually get the person in a better condition, I always ask if I could have done better and more for my patient.

I'm no expert in EMS as I have only been a paramedic for a few months and in paramedic school for 3 years. I am just saying that being in EMS is more complicated than people in the outside world thinks. We win. We lose. Every call is different. There are protocols that need to be broken and explanations when they are. There are always lives at stake. I look at the TV every day and see a line of duty death. Heart attacks and wrecks take more lives from us then we care to admit. Depression and suicide rates are rising. We never know when our last call will be or if we will make it home safely.

We do know that when it comes down to the wire or we are in trouble, there is always somebody that will have our backs. The field of EMS is a crazy place. However, dispatchers listen to us, police back us up and firefighters stand side by side with us. We don't do this job to be a hero or for the money and several of us volunteer. We do it for the life that might be saved on a good day and the fight on a bad day. WE ARE A FAMILY!!! I wouldn't change it. The changes that I make on the lives that I encounter. The smile on my face when I do something right. It's all worth it.

EMS- the scariest profession that I've ever been apart of and would never give up