I can’t bring myself to sit down and talk to you about any of this in person because I think I’m finally done trying to figure this out. And I think the worst part of giving you all of your stuff back is that I really didn't want to. The part where you make me feel like I don’t deserve better than how you've been treating me really hurts, but I’m not mad at you, I'm mad at myself for letting you succeed in that.

You don’t respect me, you don’t love me like you claim you do and that’s what sucks. I shouldn't be shedding a single tear for you anymore because honestly, I’ve cried so much this year that I’m almost out of tears. I graduated high school hoping that college relationships wouldn't be as immature as they were then, but you proved to me that that’s not true. You proved that no matter how much you try to fix or help someone you won't ever be enough and I think that’s what really hurts.

I wanted you to need me or to even realize that sometimes I need your help too, or maybe I just wanted you to be there for me, which I now know you can’t do. You blame me for everything and I’m so sick of thinking that I’m crazy and thinking that I’m the one doing this to us because I’m not. I’ve been trying so hard to talk to you and understand why you think I’m some evil monster that is trying to destroy this relationship when that isn't the case at all.

You don’t respect me. And I don’t know if that stopped recently or it’s always been like that, but that is the one thing that I don’t take lightly. Yes, I've made mistakes really big ones, but so have you and I think you forget that sometimes. I think you forget that along the way you changed too. You changed into someone you said you would never become and that part scares me.

I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I can finally breath again. I thought I’d be completely destroyed if you left me, and to my surprise i’m okay. Yes, seeing you is going to absolutely suck, but I’m stronger now then I was yesterday, and I’ll be stronger tomorrow then I was today. I am so lucky to have met you because you made me a fighter and made me realize that everyday I’m worth more than I think.

I’m gonna miss you, but I’ll eventually be okay and in the long run, I’ll be glad I had the strength to walk away from someone who took me for granted and who treats me like this or a “princess”, however you like to put it. I look at my parents and understand that what I want is someone to look at me the way my dad looks at my mom. I want someone who treats me with respect and doesn't do things out of mere stupidity or jealousy. I want a life of love and happiness, not a toxic relationship that never seems to get better.

I let you into my goddamn family, I let my mother fall in love with you and I let my dad actually like someone that I was head over heels in love with. I let my brother think that you were sticking around longer than everyone else, and I hate that.

I love you, with everything in me, and I’m wondering how I’m going to face you and suppress my love for you this upcoming week, but I know I need to. You've changed, I've changed, and I’m happy I saw who you really are now instead of three years down the line. I can finally breathe and I hope you soon realize that you can too. We are both going to grow from this and hopefully both realize that we were stupid, young and in love.

I was trying so desperately to fix what I had broken over the summer, but the more I tried the more you pushed me away. I hope that down the road we can be friends and be civil with each other and maybe even rekindle what we had. I love you and I’ll take that feeling of love to the grave with me. I would never wish anything bad upon you, and I hope you find happiness and success in your future. Thank you for everything you taught me and for showing me how I deserve to be treated in my next relationships. I'm grateful to have known you.