We all know that we can’t please everyone. I myself like to claim that I don’t care what people think about me. But let’s be honest. Every now and then I think we all find ourselves wondering what "so and so" feels about us. It’s human nature for us to have insecurities, but why do we care if other people notice our insecurities? Or for that matter why do other people care about anything we do?
This year I found myself overthinking what other people’s opinions might be of me. This is because I want to be respected and have a good reputation. I want people to think of me in a positive light. And for some unexplainable reason I thought everyone could like me. I tried my best to be happy all the time and tried my best to be selfless. However, along the way I ended up over thinking all of my actions. I would get really insecure if I thought someone didn’t like me. I ended up becoming selfish because I only thought about how people felt about me. I didn’t become fake. I was still true to myself. But I was stressed out and worried about all the wrong people. I’m a full-time college student and participate in extracurricular activities; I don’t have time to worry. But there I was, becoming more and more unhappy about the feeling of not being accepted by others.
I don’t like to be talked about behind my back because then I can’t defend or explain myself. When I make a mistake, I am open about it so that people can share their thoughts with me. I have thick skin and love when people tell me exactly how they feel about me. I like to know what people think because in my mind I think that others would help me become a better person. The thing is that not everyone has positive criticism. Some people don’t care about making you a better person. They just want to have their own opinions about you.
Even when I was deciding to start writing for Odyssey, I worried what people would think about my writing. It’s exhausting to worry about what other people have to say.
So I’m trying this thing called not caring! I will no longer care what other people have to say about me. The people who really care about me will always be there. They won’t hold me to all my mistakes and quirks because they know that I am so much more than that. What ever people say about me will reflect them, not me. I will still put my best self forward; I just can’t take it personally when people don’t accept me. Because at the end of the day, I have to live with myself, and self-acceptance is what matters most. It won’t be easy to block everyone out; I’ll just have to give myself daily reminders.
I’m trying to be respected for my self-assurance instead of my flexibility to be what others want me to be.
