The word 'manipulation' has always been a very daunting word to me. It's a scary thought that someone can actually be capable of controlling your emotions, questioning your sanity and how you feel about yourself. I thought it would never be me, and that it would never happen. I would never become the victim of manipulation. Not until I pressed that search button and investigated what it truly meant did I think that I was the victim. Article after article was creepily accurate. Every point made was applied to my life. It dawned on me that I was in fact stuck in the middle of it. It occurred to me that I was emotionally manipulated, and without even realizing it.
I realized at the time that I was treated like sh*t, so I walked away, but never once did I think I was manipulated.
This story isn't meant to be a sob story, but maybe a story that can help someone else realize that they are being emotionally manipulated before it's too late.
(These signs of emotional manipulation are taken from Psychology Today and then tied into my personal experience with emotional manipulation, so if you don't believe me, I'll link the source below).
It starts off with too much too soon. The manipulator will confess serious stuff too soon or tell you what you want to hear to make you feel 'special'. They move fast and expect the same from you. Lots of steps that are normally taken before getting into a serious relationship are missed/skipped.
Next comes negative surprises. These surprises happen suddenly and all at once, giving you little time to think and counteract what had just happened.
Then, the home court advantage. When I read this warning sign, it stung because I know it all too well. Here, the manipulator will always want to meet or have meaningful conversations at places where they can establish dominance and control (ex: their place).
They let you speak first in order to establish your baseline and figure out your weaknesses.
They ask for your opinion and then make you feel inadequate with no willingness to create constructive solutions. The manipulator simply dismisses you.
After they make you feel inadequate, they dismiss you. Due to this, you start to worry about the relationship and feel insecure.
Then, the worst part, they give you the silent treatment. Blow you off. This way, the manipulator presumes power by making you wait and intends to place doubt and uncertainty in your mind. It drives you insane.
And finally, (not mentioned in Psychology Today but from personal experience), just when you're prepared and about to walk away, sick of all of these different emotions, they turn the tables and terminate the relationship. They need to end things with you and make you feel awful, and not the other way around.
