In various ways I am finding my 20s to be an extraordinarily confusing time and I have a hunch that many people can relate. Who am I? What is my sole purpose? What on earth am I going to do with my life? This voice inside of my head provides me with the constant reminder that I have absolutely no defining answer to any of these questions. To my dismay, this question shows up whether I invite it or not, and it has a tendency to stick around. It is almost as if these thoughts are stuck on a sushi conveyor belt that continuously runs while the little sushi pieces stare me down and assiduously beg me for the answers. Well, truth be told, sometimes I don’t want the damn sushi, or in this case, the questioning of my purpose in life.

For a while I let this whole lost feeling bring me down. I was going through the motions of my daily routine to simply get by. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t stuck in an upright endless pit of depression, but I couldn’t understand what I was doing solely because there was no crystal clear view of the end result. How would digging a 1-foot hole by myself with a hand trowel in an isolated field for my online soil science class have any relation to my future in the business world?

I found myself questioning how I would ever become as brilliant as my incredibly talented sister whose taking Columbia University by storm while en route to starting her own physical therapy practice. Or my brother who is off to Georgetown Law School this fall, who truth be told will probably be running our country one day (partly kidding, but also kind of serious). What are my ambitions? How could I possibly accomplish something comparable to their success in such a short amount of time? They have done it so gracefully, with ample amounts of motivation and hours upon hours of hard work, yet somehow they have managed to make it look seemingly effortless.

My mind was continually spinning and my focus was uncontrollably drawn toward what I could not do or what I dreaded my future might look like. Would I find a job that suited my creative interests? Or would I be stuck between the four partially enclosed walls of impending doom that are properly referenced to as a cubicle? Would I become best friends with the break room where I would top off my cup of coffee an unacceptable amount of times, all to avoid the tedious data entry that was sitting there, staring back at me through the computer screen? Would I find someone who I fall madly in love with, who appreciates me and embraces the flaws I possess? Would I get my dream job in New York working for a fashion magazine? These are all real concerns that I possess, but why did they have to be diligently looming at the forefront of my mind? I foolishly sat there thinking, wishing, and waiting for something amazing to happen with the unrealistic hope that I would have some sort of life-altering epiphany. The kind that just appears out of nowhere, causing every confusion that I once had to be broken down and laid out in a nearly precise manner.

As you might have guessed, the epiphany never came because that would be far too Hollywood-esque, but what became apparent was that I was stuck in a rut and absolutely no progress was being made. Why did this unforeseen future have to be so scary? My thoughts were running too far away and my conscience did everything in its willpower to not accept them. I soon realized what was wrong about the situation – my mindset. As defined by Merriam-Webster: a particular way of thinking: a person’s attitudes or set of opinions about something. This word is quite simple when used in everyday speech, but when turned into a conscious action, it can really alter the way a person sees him or herself and the world at large. What seemed to be something that was impossible to fix, well, it was actually never really broken. Why did the future have to be such a scary monster?

With conscious effort, my new internal mantra became something closer to “you will fail, and fail, and fail some more, but that one success that comes about will far outweigh any of those failures.” Your 20s are a time to try new things, experiment, and make a fool of yourself in the midst of it all. There is no need to be convinced that there is some sort of meticulous timeline that we all must follow in order to achieve success.

So what did I do to kick off this new way of thinking? This sort of “fresh start?” I went to the grocery store, bought six dollar hair dye and raced back home as a girl on a mission. Without any hesitation I slathered the dye all over, switching from platinum blonde to... Oh God, well, basically black hair. The strange thing is that a part of me hated it, but I was also extremely accepting of the new look. It provided me with this newfound sense of freedom and I figured I would just roll with it for a while. I continued on as a brunette with a whole new mindset, realizing the importance of focusing on the moment that I am in. Surrounded by absolutely incredible friends, a loving family, and a great school environment, what more could I possibly ask for?

It is the positive things in life that we need to focus on and there is no better time than your 20s to experiment and figure out what you really want. Almost anything can be achievable, you just have to be willing to fail and put yourself out there. Things may not go according to plan, but as long as you have the right mindset along the way, it will be a-okay. I am well aware that it can be exceptionally scary because there are a great deal of unknowns, but this is what makes it such an amazing time as you possess an ample amount of control. Take the necessary action to work toward achieving your future goals, but also embrace your quarter-life crisis. As I like to say, “the world is your oyster.”

Whether you are nervous about achieving big dreams or are scared to go on a first date, grab the opportunity and embrace it. It may go completely awry, but you will never know unless you put yourself out there. Be silly, travel, enjoy the Top Ramen, strike up conversation with strangers, and ask questions. Do not let yourself get too tied down to anything. Things will fall into place; you just have to allow them to take their course.