As we approach Halloween (although some people have elected to observe the entire month of October as the 31 Days of Halloween), you may feel that your life is lacking in spookiness. The average life is actually inundated with spookiness, but you may not notice unless you are attuned to the nature of spookiness. You may not currently be able to recognize anything less than the most blatantly spooky content. Taking these 11 steps towards an infinitely spookier existence will help you appreciate and become acclimated to the genuine spirit of Halloween.
1. Make sure you exercise.
Only exercise at night, though. And only exercise if you are wearing glow paint.
2. Write your lecture notes using this pen.
Remember, it's only a pen. But... it's not just any pen. Spooky.
3. Invest in a hoodie that allows you to swoop.
Swoop, swoop. In the night. Swoop is almost spook.
4. Sing The Monster Mash at the next coffee house open mic night.
After all the Ed Sheeran covers, the crowd will be begging to hear some classic Mash.
5. Next time someone asks you to glue something, use this fancy gluing technique.
Extra spooky adhesive strength!
6. Post this chilling Benjamin Franklin quote on a friend's Facebook wall.
And if they send you a message, respond only in pokes.
7. Only refer to drinks as "potions."
You don't have to create these convincing containers, but they add extra spooky points.
8. Invite all your friends over for a sleepover, and provide these for sleeping bags:
Cozy--and it reminds me of aliens.
9. But in the middle of the night, turn the pods into pumpkins.
If you don't know how, you aren't yet advanced enough in Spookology.
10. Your friends will create wonderful jack o' lanterns as they escape!
It's lit!
11. If you aren't already a skeleton at this point, you can still do this dance.
Ring around the spooky, a pocketful of spooky. Ashes, ashes. We all are spooky!
