I’m the type of person who falls asleep with the TV on. So much so that I have trouble sleeping without it. I like the dim light glowing on my face, almost like a safety blanket. More importantly, I need the noise. Without it, I hear the creaks in the floorboard and the pitter-patter of dog paws getting up for a drink of water. Want to know what I hear which scares me the most? My own thoughts.

The TV is off and thoughts are circling my brain. I start by thinking about my to-do list. The never-ending, ever-growing to-do list. Soon, I’m thinking about how I’ll never get anything done. The cycle progresses and I find my thoughts wandering to the darkest parts of my brain. Sad memories fill my mind. Anger floods my veins as I remind myself how much I’ve failed. Within my own mind, I am shackled to a future of failure.

The TV is on and I am content. My world is happy. I no longer have to think about anything because I have the canned laughter from the sitcom playing in the background to deter my thoughts.

This world never sleeps, so I have adapted to the notion that silence is deafening.

With all the scary things in this world to be afraid of, our thoughts should never be one of them. It’s entirely too easy to run from the ideas that scare us the most. Old memories, future plans, current problems. The unknown is scary, but so is what we do know. So, we distract ourselves because we have every resource available to do so. We watch TV, listen to music, read a book or talk to other people. While all of these options are entertaining, they are also the easiest way to run away from the thoughts chasing after us.

I understand how hard it can be to turn off the TV or put down a book and brace yourself for the roar of the encroaching quiet. When there’s too much to think about there isn’t a peaceful kind of quiet. This type of quiet reminds you of everything, whether you want to remember or not.

When this quiet is approaching you, that’s when you know it’s time to face it head on. In order to keep yourself from fearing your own thoughts, you have to listen to them. Sit there, close your eyes, and embrace what your mind is trying to tell you. It’s trying to help you sort out the madness of the world around you.

For the first time, in a long time, I finally listened. You know what I heard once I did? Nothing. I heard nothing, and it was beautiful.

Think about everything bothering you. Think about your fears, anxieties and everything in between. In the silence that follows, you’ll come to an understanding. You can’t figure everything out or predict what will happen in the future. What you can understand is just because this world is a scary place, it doesn’t mean we should live in fear of ourselves.

“The world sits quiet, as if sighing and taking a long inhale after what seemed like forever with mankind and the noise pollution” -Tara Brown