I've come to a realization recently. I scare the crap out of a lot of people. But, why? In my head I see myself as approachable and kind. I ran through the most obvious options; is it my tall stature? The fact that I like using big words and asking lots of questions? And then it came to me. As I looked around my college campus filled with gaggles of girls in matching sorority tee shirts and guys chattering about how late they stayed up with their roommates the night before, I realized, I operate completely different socially from my peers.

Through my life experiences, I feel I have a clearer vision of what is worth my attention and deserves a place in my life. I choose to partake in relationships that are meaningful, enriching and that I know I can count on. As I looked at my surroundings, I realized that everyone around me had different priorities from myself. My peers all seem to be invested in only immediate gratification and what serves them best now. Fitting in and socializing by wearing matching tee shirts and ignoring those without a similar agenda. Befriending someone that won't mind carting their drunk self around on the occasional weekend. Someone to eat lunch with so they don't have to be seen sitting alone.

I have come to the consensus that only three things are really a necessity throughout my daily social life in order to have a peaceful, happy day. Rule One: be nice to everyone. Rule Two: use manners. Rule Three: if a person violates Rule One or Rule Two, they're not worth my time.

I think this sort of blunt friend selection process is what scares people. I don't do the fake bestie thing. I won't listen to you talk negatively about your other friends because what would make me think you would treat me differently? I won't prop up your ego with empty compliments. I choose to spend my time with people of whom I have no doubt where their loyalties lie or what their intentions are. Who I have no problem defending fiercely and know they would do the same. I am pragmatic and have observed so many relationships go down in flames because they were built on a foundation of fluff, crap, and disingenuous affirmations of being "BFFLs".

I have made the conscious decision to only allow true friendships to grow in my life and have learned how to systematically weed out the others. While that attitude might intimidate some, to me, it's just practical and shows strength of character. I don't need the constant, fake over-the-top love or to never be seen alone. I present each new person I meet with kindness and openness and leave the rest up to their own actions.

So next time you meet someone who doesn't partake in the norm of college friendships, don't run. They could be the best friend you ever had.