Hopefully, we all know that feminism was never, is not currently, and will never be about men versus women. It simply the advocacy for women’s rights. Feminism strives for equality, and both men and women can be (and are) feminists. That being said, the most important part of feminism, in my opinion, is the relationship women have with other women. In order to move forward with our cause, we as women need to be supportive of each other.
Living on a college campus, I see girls day after day attack, abuse, and ridicule their peers. Sometimes they even do it to their best friends. We will call this “girl hate.” Everyone is a culprit, including myself. It is imperative that we put aside our egos and stand up for our sisters. We shouldn't be fighting against each other; we should be fighting for each other. Unfortunately, there are many different ways girl hate presents itself. Often—because of the media’s strong focus on beauty and the warped standards society holds for women—girls tend to criticize each other’s appearances. Whether it's about clothes, hair, body shape, or what have you, I hear girls tearing each other apart.
One of the worst ways a girl can attack another girl is body shaming. Just because someone isn’t shaped the way you think they’re supposed to be, doesn’t mean that they’re any less of a person. There is nothing wrong with being “too big” or “too small.” There is not a “correct” body weight or type. Honestly, if it's not your body, you don’t get a say anyway, so why even bother making a comment? Why are looks so important to us? We are all beautiful, and people should be more focused on what's inside than what's on the outside. Society is already putting so much pressure on girls about how they should look and what they should do to please others. We don’t need any more pressure from our peers.
Girl hate can manifest not only in body shaming, but slut shaming too. The normalcy of the idea that men are allowed to sleep around infuriates me, because for some reason when a girl does that same thing it gives her a bad reputation. I believe in sexual liberation for everyone. It’s your body and you can do what you want, when you want, with whomever you want (providing you have consent). Just because a girl dresses a certain way, hangs out with a lot of guys, or has multiple sexual partners doesn’t mean we have a right to call her a derogatory name. Maybe I don’t have the confidence or feel the need to wear a bralette as a shirt, but if someone else does I say, good for her. If a girl wants to wear nothing but her bra and underwear out, I’ll be supportive. I’m in no place to judge someone else for their choices and neither are you. Again, it's not your body, so why are you so concerned?
Some of these types of girl hating comments, I’m sure, are coming from our own insecurities. I get it. It's so easy to complain about someone else’s appearance when you’re uncomfortable with and anxious about your own. I’ve done it, we all have. But I’m trying to catch myself and my friends, and make an effort to stop. We need to be positive about each other's appearance.
We need to learn to encourage and respect each other! Just try to go by the golden rule, the one we all learned in elementary school. You know how it goes. “Treat people the way you want to be treated.” That generally applies to everything I’m saying. There is so much work to do if we want to obtain equality. We don’t have time to fight with each other. So ladies, keep this in mind when you’re talking badly about your friend, your neighbor, your sister, your colleague. If we all make an effort to be positive and supportive—to be a community—we can do anything we set our minds to! Be an ally, not an enemy—work to eliminate girl hate.
