When I thought about what I wanted to write about this week, I realized that I just couldn’t not write about the election on Tuesday. It is simply too important.

I’ve avoided getting really personal about politics this far, but now look where we are.

I’ve, and so many others across my campus and across the nation, spent the last few days feeling an insane range of emotions. I’ve struggled with intense anxiety resulting from this election, which is, of course, in addition to my “usual” anxiety.

On Tuesday, November 8, 2016 – my first presidential election - I wore white, to honor the suffragettes. I was really excited. My whole being was filled with hope, and determination, and readiness.

At the thought of Hillary Clinton not winning made me shiver, and I pushed that thought away, because “she is definitely going to win,” I told myself. It was obvious to me. There were moments in my day when everything stopped, and I marveled at the fact that, as a friend named Nicole from my school so eloquently tweeted, “This could very well be the last time we go to bed without a woman ever being elected president.”

Around 9pm, I was working in the Writing Center and I began to hear updates from the polls about voting results from various states.

I became ridiculously nervous and terrified instantly. I thought I didn’t want to watch the results, but it quickly became too significant to look away.

I was already in tears the minute I arrived home. I spent the night in a room full of friends, crying together and fearing for the bitterly unknown future of our country.

To culminate this night, I literally collapsed, sobbing, in a ball, in the middle of the hallway. Honestly, I was, in fact, embarrassed by hysterics, but I was blindsided.

The heaviness of this election truly deserved the outpouring of emotion that resulted this week.

We are grieving.

Let me be clear, I am not writing this with the intention of sounding “dramatic” or anything like that. I know this story of my last few days is kinda’ crazy; It is also real. I am writing because this is what my campus looked like last week.

I am writing this with the intention to add my own narrative to the awareness of the pain that we are feeling across the country. We are suffering, worrying, fearing. This is not politics as usual. As many of already iterated, it is not right to feel threatened and endangered by the results of an election.

I agree with the belief that if Hillary Clinton had won, some people would have been angry, disappointed, but not afraid for their lives. I am sad that Hillary lost, and I am also afraid that Trump won.

I would now like to address what I see as “the elephant in the room,” for the majority of you reading anyway.

I am, in part, writing this article to express my solidarity with my fellow Queer community.

In face of the devastating consequences of this election, I cannot continue to shy away and separate myself from this group of people. I refuse to pretend; I refuse to hide any part of myself.

I identify as bisexual.

Under a Trump presidency, I fear for the future protection of my rights, specifically my right to marriage equality.

Under a Vice-Presidency of Mike Pence, (allow me to intervene momentarily and mention that I can barely type his name) I am terrified for his blatant detestation of and discrimination against the queer community.

Let me remind you all that this horrific viewpoint now stands as the “role model” of the Unites States. This serves as an excuse for acts of hate crime that have already begun under the election of Trump. This, in turn, justifies the fact that people are now scared to leave their rooms.

I’ve heard a lot of arguments recently that tell me that Trump will “not be so bad” because republicans are afraid him too and will therefore “not let him get away with his plans.”

Frankly, I think this is full of sh*t.

Let’s all take a minute to realize this: A republican dominated Congress means that any legislature proposed that is “mild” enough, so to speak, and “agreeable” enough to the majority of Congress and to Trump will inevitably be passed into law.

This directly and immediately threatens immigration, health care, the economy, and queer rights. Don’t try to tell me that the majority of Congress will not predictably be against Trans rights, marriage equality, women’s reproductive rights, equal access to healthcare, fair immigration policy, and the countless other policies that are now in danger.

To those people who do not understand why we are hurting this week, know that these belittled, but incredibly impactful, social issues are now threatened and disrespected.

I hope my writing can encourage those reading to recognize some of their ignorance. If you are not scared right now, you must realize that you have some privilege.

We are scared.

We are grieving.

We stand up and we fight to have our voices heard.

We refuse to disappear.

We are here.

We are valuable.