The election has been a hell of a ride for the entire country. Watching it unfold from overseas was an entirely different experience.

For many young people, this was our first presidential election. The election that we finally felt like we had a real say in. It was a hard process, and trying to participate in it from abroad added another shade of difficulty.

Throughout the process, we read up on how to fill out our absentee ballots and make sure that we did so in enough time; that was mission number one. Mission number two became acting like the face of America for others during a difficult time for Americans. Dare I say that this is a hard job, unless you are very well-versed in politics and completely fluent in another language. Many times I was asked questions, either by my host family or professors out of complete curiosity, and felt like I had a hard time answering. Either I didn't understand the issue well enough myself (Sorry to young people who actually are super well informed, I'm making you look bad), or I didn't have enough words to properly express the answer.

For example, the Clinton email scandal. I know why people are upset about it, but I found that generally the French people I talked to didn't understand why people were upset enough about it to actually vote for Trump. Trump's rhetoric is very well-known abroad. French newspapers would often recount the horrible things that he said. The cons for voting Clinton didn't seem to stack up well enough against the cons for voting Trump, and I felt like I couldn't really explain why. To be honest, it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing to be unable to explain why a large majority of the country wanted to vote for him. Yes I understand that people have their reasons, but imagine not being able to explain yourself to someone who has only seen a part of the situation.

Explaining American politics was actually interesting. To some, I got to explain the electoral college, and why people were hesitant to vote for third parties via the story of Woodrow Wilson's election in 1912. I got to talk to people about Trump and Marine La Pen, and the extremist parties in both of our countries. I talked about Bernie Sanders and how many of us wanted him to be the Democratic Party candidate. I even learned that some are worried that France's upcoming presidential election is shaping up to be similar to the American election.

After Trump won, I was embarrassed to show my face around France. For reasons previously mentioned, I felt like I couldn't explain why enough people wanted him to lead the country, either due to my language barriers or general ignorance. I was afraid people abroad would start to hate America, and identify us all as racist, sexist, and hateful. But I found this was really not the case. I did have one professor in class who wondered aloud if this would be the end of friendly francophone relations in the US. That hurt.

I talked to my host family, who seemed much less overwhelmed and fearful of the results as my American peers. They seemed to understand the complexity of the election; even if they didn't understand every last iota of American politics, they understood that people were torn, posed with two poor candidates, and are now trying to deal with the outcome. They seemed to understand that not all Americans were hateful and extreme. Whether or not my hosts are representative of the average French person and global citizen, their reaction alone gives me hope for the future of Americans abroad.

One of the hard parts now is being so isolated from everyone else. In a way, it seems like a blessing to live somewhere else during a difficult time. All of the distractions of studying and a new country make it easy to ignore the reality at home. But I know that I refuse to ignore it. Not once after the election did I look up how to stay in France, because America is my home and I must fight, like my peers there right now, for what is just and what we believe in.

Despite all the despair, I have seen many calls to action from my peers about loving harder and stronger, protecting the groups who are targeted by hate, and taking it upon ourselves to change our reality. To my American peers back home, I stand with you, and thank you for giving me a reason to (eventually) come home.