Life is a vapor.
We're born, we live, and then we die. In the grand scheme of things, in the vast expanses of the universe, we're just a speck, a brief spot on an ever expanding timeline.
Okay, philosophical moment aside - it is a well-known fact that our time here on Earth is limited. Even more so are our years as young adults. If this is the case, then why do we spend so much of our valuable time worrying about things we cannot change? Specifically people. Specifically guys.
Yes, I know I write a lot about relationships (particularly failed or nonexistent ones) but I think that it's because that topic is so relevant at this point in my life, as it is with many twenty-somethings. It's normal to want relationships. I would go so far as to say it's healthy to think about your hopes and desires for your future, including those pertaining to romance.
What's not healthy, however, is trying to mold your life around somebody who doesn't quite seem to fit. Guys - well...guys that aren't right for you - can be enigmas. They give you signs, you catch feelings, then they pull back and leave you confused and wondering what you did wrong (you did nothing, by the way). Maybe they treat you poorly and give lame excuses that sound just good enough to keep you strung along. Maybe they don't appreciate you while you're there but would do anything to stop you from walking away.
Maybe you realize all of this. So why do you waste your time letting it happen? In my experience, it's because there's a little voice inside my head that says if I wait long enough, if I give him enough of myself, then he'll change. He'll realize what he has and will eventually become the person I need him to be.
False. People don't change because you need them to. We'd like to believe that there's good in everybody, and that if we work hard enough, we can permanently bring it out in them. I do believe that everybody has good parts to them, but there are some people that have toxic traits that we will never be able to tolerate.
The older I get, the less I'm starting to care about the people who don't care about me. It is so incredibly draining to spend all your energy pouring into someone who give you nothing back. Stop wasting time, effort, and energy chasing someone who is walking in the other direction when you could be chasing freedom. Freedom from your insecurities. Freedom from your feelings of inadequacy. Freedom from believing you're not worthy because some dude made you feel so.
Don't waste your time trying to force the wrong person into a mold that doesn't fit. Instead, spend it on things that matter. Get rid of your baggage. Realize your worth. Live your life in freedom doing things that you love because you are enough on your own.
