I May Not Have Control Over COVID-19, But I Can Control My Response

This past year has been taxing on us all.

Almost all of us have had to improvise when it came to birthdays, talking to friends and family, or even going back to work safely. No one knows when this will all end, and some days are a lot harder than others.

I am an overthinker. By that nature, I'm an anxious person.

I stress about exposure, safety, and the risk of infecting my loved ones. I try to go home and also see my fiancé once a month. This month, both just happened to occur at the same time. I worried myself over every little cough, sneeze, or hot flash that I got before the trip.

I want nothing more than to keep my loved ones safe.

Today was finally the day that I was supposed to go home. The minute I left work and got in my car to drive home, my shoulders dropped. A huge weight lifted off of my shoulders, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was finally going to be able to go home. I was ten minutes away from my destination when my fiancé called me. He said that someone he had come in contact with was exposed to a person who tested positive. He had gotten tested.

Immediately, my heart sunk.

I knew that this meant that for the safety of myself and my family, we had to wait for the results of his test, however long they may take. He was informed that a response to a positive test would be delivered in 1-2 days, while a negative test would be delivered in 3-5. Our weekend would be cut short, or not spent together at all.

On top of that, my mom had planned an intimate brunch for our engagement.

We weren't going to be able to have a typical engagement party due to COVID-19, so my mom was working hard to make it an extra special brunch for us. I wanted to stay positive. I wanted to see the bright side, but I couldn't find one.

I was dealing with a situation that was totally and completely out of my control.

For someone who overthinks and has anxiety, this is the worst. Not only that, but I haven't seen my fiancé in over a month. More than anything, I wish I could speed up the results and make them be negative. Of course I can't, so I wait. I have a choice, though. Do I wait in a positive mood and be glad that I'm home with my family, or do I let the situation ruin my weekend? I'm not about to let COVID-19 take control.

If I let COVID-19 get me down, I'd be sad every day.

I don't want that. Even if there is a small chance that I don't get to see my fiancé this weekend, I know that we will get through everything together. Ultimately, I care about the his health and safety, as well as my family's wellbeing. COVID-19 is inconviencing all of us. If I let the little things get to me, I'd never make it through.

Of course, there are so many who are dying and suffering because of COVID-19. I don't take that lightly.

My inconvience is small, but for those who get sick and end up in the hospital, the fear can be overwhelming. I encourage all of you to practice social distancing, wear a mask, wash those hands, and stay safe.

This isn't going away any time soon, but if we all pull together and remain positive, it can be an easier day to day battle.