Her greatest defeat was always when she looked in the mirror, each glance left the girl more broken than before. When she was growing up people always taught her that reflecting was a way to answer all of your questions, but they were just the root of hers.
When a little girl is raised she is to see herself as a princess, assuming this confidence would follow her into her years of wisdom. She is to pass it on to her daughter then her's, and so on. This was usually true for young women, except for the Broken Girl. How could her confidence grow when it shattered, like a window as a brick of aggression flies through it, before she even hit double digits. Though she never could figure out what the brick truly was. Was it her first childhood best friend who would compare their size as they changed into their Littlest Pet Shop PJs? Was it the discomfort she felt that wouldn't allow her to uncross her arms in her skin tight uniform? Was it the harsh blow of her father leaving and her inability to fill the void of love with food? Was it the kids at school who would taunt every aspect of her being from her wide-spread thighs to her chubby cheeks, making sure not to miss a single thing in between? Or was it the concoction of sadness that sat in her mind saying "Drink Me"?
As the Broken Girl aged her self-hatred festered deeper inside her heart and mind. Going about her daily life she would receive compliments from strangers or loved ones, there was a part of her that felt joy, but there was also a voice, similar to Jiminy Cricket possessed by Pennywise, in her head telling her that she would never be good enough. The voice always did a great job showing her the scariest thing of all, herself. Like anyone else, she wanted to get rid of her nightmare. No one could tell you what exactly happened in the bathroom while the shower was running, but she always came out with dry hair and tear-stained cheeks.
One day she had enough of the mental takedown, she finally decided it was time to speak up. After crying in a Planet Fitness parking lot until three a.m., the actual precedent of how serious she had let it get surfaced. After discussing her problem to several people the conclusion was reached that she didn't love, nor care for herself enough, she was found casting all of her effort into other people. That's when she realized to get anywhere she needed to forget about other people and focus on what she saw before her. She began to question everything; Why for so long has she cast aside dreams of her own? Why was it so important to please everyone else?
Self-care and self-love was always something the Broken Girl viewed as a cliche, selfish people who needed attention. But the Broken Girl learned in order to truly get better she needed to love herself. While it still doesn't come naturally to her, she's finding her way one day at a time.
