This is surprisingly more personal than most stuff I write for Odyessy. I can't put into words how much the character of Gaston means to me. Many months ago, I wrote a defense of Gaston where I explained why he is the real hero of Disney's "Beauty and the Beast." I love Gaston; he is my personal favorite Disney character, and since I grew up in the 90's, animated Disney movies are apart of the fabric of my personality. So, I get a little emotional when a certain mouse-operated studio decides to smack me in the face with their bullshit casting.

I'll cut to the chase. Luke Evans is not my Gaston. If you are gonna call me insensitive for aping a phrase popularized for hating Trump, calm down and go get laid. That is the best way for me to describe how I feel about the casting of Luke Evans as Gaston. Luke Evans can not sing. Luke Evans is not roughly the size of a barge. Luke Evans is not even remotely charismatic or charming. Luke Evans is not Gaston. You know who has all of these traits and qualities? Oh, I don't know, DWAYNE JOHNSON!

Before anybody wants to come at me sideways and say, "Dwayne Johnson doesn't look french! He isn't a perfect fit!" Emma Watson is English, so shut up. That's not a good enough excuse. He may not look like the prototypical French man, but he was born to play Gaston. Dwayne Johnson is the single most charismatic man on this earth. He is also probably the biggest actor in Hollywood, both figuratively and literally. He also has a pretty solid and underrated singing voice. Not to mention nobody can play an ego maniac who loves himself quite like Dwayne Johnson. In the late 90's, early 2000's, The Rock was the Gaston of professional wrestling - that's how he became famous, dammit!

In a day and age where it is frowned upon to be an Alpha Male, why are we diminishing the ultimate Alpha Male villain? Luke Evans is far too scrawny to be any form of Alpha Male. He'll just look like he is a part of the pack. As an actor he has never stood out. His biggest claim to fame is being the guy people thought was Orlando Bloom. When Dwayne Johnson enters a room, people notice. That is the exact same effect Gaston has on that small French town. That creates the necessary juxtaposition between Gaston and the Disney formula. In any other Disney movie, Gaston would be seen as the hero of flick because of the way he carries himself. That is why the dynamic between him and Beast is perfect and why that movie works so well. Luke Evans doesn't look like the kind of guy who can sell me on anything or be the king of the crop of the town. He couldn't even get people to see a movie about Dracula. Gaston is also supposed to look like he can go toe to toe with The Beast.

Bottom line, I am a near 23 year-old man who is very pissed off about the casting of a cartoon character. I genuinely hate that I have to sit here and talk about Disney screwing up something that should be a home run. The Beauty and The Beast live action remake looks so good. However, there is just one massive and noticeable black hole ruining something I have been looking forward to for ages. Even if Dwayne Johnson couldn't be Gaston, Luke Evans is one of the worst possible options they could have made. I've probably said this 400 times during this entire article, but Luke Evans just isn't Gaston. He is barely even an actor. He has been trying ever so hard to be a leading man for years and audiences just haven't taken to it. When you don't have it, you don't have it. Dwayne Johnson has IT! If you can't command an audience, you can't command Gaston.