I have an issue -- a very annoying issue that never fails to deliver me with exhausting consequences and confusing complications. You might have this issue too. If you promise yourself you will start a no carb, low-sugar diet post Mardi Gras, but three hours after dancing on all the stages in Tigerland you find yourself shoving two orders of Holy Mac down your throat and snapchatting a “Plucker's Selfie." If you decide you will never again fight with your best friend about her poor choices in guys only to find yourself lecturing her on why her latest heartbreak is her fault after a few glasses of wine. If you complain about how everyone is just “so dumb" on social media only to then post a 200-second Snapchat story of random, pointless videos every Thirsty Thursday.

If you do these things, or just things you regret after a night out, then you probably suffer from the same issue as me, which is that sober you and drunk you are on very different pages.

Sober me tends to have great intentions, while drunk me is equivalent to the estranged, questionable aunt in your family who drinks all of the vodka and destroys every holiday. I can feel confident that I finally have my life put together, but a night out drinking always manages to leave me in shambles. People are quick to shout out classic sayings such as “drunk words are sober thoughts" or “drunk actions come from a sober heart." Well, I wholeheartedly disagree with these little pearls of drinking wisdom. Drunk me has done all of the following: made 17 grilled cheeses at 4 AM, posted videos of me “rapping" on social media, hid my keys in the freezer, tried napping on a curbside, blew $60 on pizza, and even accepted a random marriage proposal from a stranger. Drunk me is very impulsive. Sober me would not even think to do any of these things.

I like to think I have several drunken personalities: fun, dance on tables drunk Olivia, sassy and smart-mouthed drunk Olivia, and occasionally there is even the shameful, emotional, “I hate everyone" drunk Olivia. Sometimes, drunk me is the biggest threat to myself. Other times, drunk me refers to myself as the “white Nicki Minaj," and is just on a quest for some ice cream and a table to dance on.

Alcohol does not release inhibitions or cause us to act on our desires; it actually changes the way we function and process information in our brains. Therefore, you're not exactly “you" when you're drunk, or at least you are a different you from the sober version of yourself. It can cause us to act wild, aggressive, ecstatic, sensitive, and a multitude of other things, but it does not cause us to always behave authentically. There is ultimately a lack of communication between our drunk and sober selves. This is why we often wake up confused by our actions from the night before.

What I have learned from my drunken alter ego is that on the nights I go out or drink heavily I should just expect to wake up to a little disorder and chaos the next morning. I need to learn to plan for some massive carb binging, a few questionable drunk texts, and a lot of cash lost. We all just need to realize our drunken selves probably won't make the best decisions.

Hopefully, you aren't spending most of your mornings dealing with the decisions drunk you made. However, a little mess every now and then is not exactly a bad thing. It's important to remember not to take it all too seriously; as the late Joan Rivers once said, “Life goes by fast. Calm down. It's all funny. Everyone get so upset about the wrong things." Nine times out of ten, dealing with drunken decisions is not worth the panic attack you sometimes give yourself. Our drunken selves may not be our best selves, but hey, at least it all makes for one hell of a story to tell at brunch the next morning.