Drunk alter egos. Ashamed or proud of it, everybody has one. Whether it be a certain alcohol or the amount of it that induces the personality switch- it becomes more than apparent to others around you. Most drunk alter egos fall into one of these eight categories; if yours doesn’t, you might be doing something wrong.
1. The Over-Sharer.
The let me tell you my whole life story in five minutes, the crier, the open book, the please be quiet. Going into the bathroom with the intention of just fixing your lipstick, you walk out with a new best friend. As you're waiting at the bar for a drink, you take it upon yourself to introduce yourself to the stranger on the left. The next thing you know, you're pointing fingers at the blonde across the room and explaining how big of a jerk your ex-boyfriend is. There is a strong possibility thirty random individuals know more about you then your best friend does.
2. The Food Fein.
Two drinks deep and the only thing on this person's mind is FOOD. Forget making it to the bar, this chick is determined to make it to the nearest pizza place. While ingesting her meal she'll probably say something along the lines of, "screw the calories," or "I deserve this." Odds are she would rather hook up with her buffalo chick pizza, so just let it happen.
3. The Narcoleptic.
All it takes is one good look at this person. You know when this person is about to go down and when it does, location doesn't matter. You'll find them face first in their drink, a bench on the street, or on the couch inside the bar.
4. The Big Spender.
Everybody loves the big spender. This person is willing to spend endless money-which they probably don't have- on drinks for everyone. "Rounds of shots for everyone!" is probably a typical phrase for them. Although, when they wake up in the morning and check their bank account they usually regret being so generous.
5. The Kanye.
Basically, this is the person who determines their self worth on the amount of compliments they receive throughout the night. If you're telling a story, they'll probably chime in and tell a personal story that has no relevance other than shifting the attention onto them. They'll probably ask you a million times if they look okay- not because they're insecure, but because they want to be told how good they look. Don't fret over this person, they're just drunk.
6. The Mean Drunk.
If you're a mean drunk, well, you really need to work on that. Arguably, it's not that fun to go out with and your friends probably wince at every shot you take. You might think it's funny to pick fights and insult people. News flash: it's not that funny. If you find yourself constantly apologizing for your behavior the morning after a tequila Thursday, maybe you shouldn't participate in tequila Thursdays anymore?
7. The Vanishing Drunk.
This is the person who promises to stick with the group, and then never does. Ever. This person loves to say things like, "I'm just going to say hi to a friend," or "I'll be right back, stay here." Twenty minutes have passed now and they are still no where in sight. You don't really worry about this friend too much because their wandering tendencies are normal and they're bound to pop up again.
8. The Good Time.
If you're a few shots deep and are able to maintain a normal fun demeanor, I applaud you. People love to be around you when you're out. You're probably a little goofy and make others laugh. You keep your friends in line, without adopting the "mom" title. Your eclectic group of drunk friends idolize your drunk ways. Never change- you are greatly appreciated.
