Rejection may be the hardest blow our self-esteems take throughout our lifetimes. Sometimes we may be able to put on a happy-go-lucky, optimistic façade, but under the surface, we crumble after each rejection we face.
Some people turn to faith, saying this simply wasn't in God's plan for them: There are better things in store, better people in store, better places in store–what is meant to be will be. If that is something you can find comfort in, and if that is something that will allow you to continue to pursue your dreams, Godspeed.
On the other hand, those of us who are unable to dismiss our rejection so easily will continue to remind ourselves that we weren't good enough, smart enough, talented enough, or whatever it may be–we will continue to feel that we weren't enough, that we aren't enough, and that we will never be enough.
This overwhelming negative energy will hinder our ability to take steps toward the futures we want. We are entirely aware that the internal, self-deprecating monologues we have will do nothing but weigh us down even more, but for whatever reason, we drown ourselves in this unwavering belief that we will always be rejected. We begin to believe that rejection is our destiny.
So we go into defense mode: we stop applying for our dream jobs, we stop pushing our comfort zone, we intentionally set ourselves up for failure so we can say that we were rejected because we didn't try rather than because we weren't good enough. We crawl into our self-dug holes and try to live contently with what we have and where we are at, all the while craving more because a small part of us believes we deserve it.
Every step that we could be taking in the right direction is a step that we don't take because we are afraid of that feeling. We are afraid of drowning in our rejection and we are so terribly afraid that after one more person turns us away, we won't be able to come back up for air.
It's easy to say that you were meant for something different, or that things would not have worked out for you where you wanted to be, or that now you can open doors to bigger and better things--it is much harder to truly believe yourself when you say those things, and it is even harder to actually act on them.
So what do we do next? How do we stop drowning?
Grab the life buoy, take a person's hand for help, kick harder and hold your head above the water--calm down and focus. You didn't get to where you are today by getting everything you ever wanted in life.
"A rejection is nothing but a necessary step in the pursuit of success" - Bo Bennett
Honestly, take a minute to think about all the times you were turned away and ended up finding something better because of it. Or maybe you grew as a person because of it. Or maybe you are happier because of it. Or maybe it was something you only thought you wanted but later realized you didn't want at all. Whatever the case may be, you are not defined by your successes nor by your failures; you are, however, shaped by them.
Take this opportunity to evolve. Our 8th grade science teachers told us that Darwin proved survival of the fittest. Become the fittest: adapt and survive. If you don't do anything different, then rejection will become your destiny. Take life by the horns and redirect it. Ask for constructive feedback, look for what you can change, and work on it.
You are capable, and you have so much to offer. Practice your interviewing skills, study harder, become more involved, try different things, meet new people, and stun everyone by showing them all the greatness that they are missing out on without you. Shock the world and become better simply because you can.
Obviously, rejection is sad. Rather than dwell on it, reflect on it, and make necessary improvements. You have the power to shape your own life and make it what you want it to be. Turn your dreams into your reality, work hard, and make your life count.
